DOG PARK WARS: Eggs-N-Bitches

So, looks like this dog park egg saga shit is still goin on.

Gothamist reports that there was yet another incident of a dog and their owner just chillin out at the dog park behind that ugly ass Novo condo on 4th Ave, when out of the sky came a flying egg.

Here's the thing Novo egg-throwing asshole: we all live in motherfucking NYC...and its noisy here. You hear sirens, choppers circling, bebes crying, husbands beating the shit out of their wives, frat boys playing Madden, bands rehearsing, morons with car alarms, horns honking, and all sorts of annoying shit. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Like it or not, your building is NEXT TO a dog run. So if you can't handle dealing with a bark every now and then, sell your fucking apartment and move!

Oh, wait.

No one wants to buy your fucking apartment, because your building looks like a poorly-constructed prison and its located on 4th Ave...you know, the street that was supposed to turn into Park Ave, but then sooo never did? I mean lets get real...that's what this is really about anyway, isn't it?

Anyway, in the meantime, this egg shit has gotta stop.

B/c if this keeps happening, I swear to fucking gawd I'm gonna organize a Park Slope BARK-A-THON. Once a fucking week, all dog owners can walk their asses down there to that park on an agreed upon time/day, and for one hour we will encourage all our pooches to bark their goddmaned heads off. LOUDLY. If you think its bad now, just wait till you hear Oliver goin at it...if I don't stop him, that dude will bark so hard and so long, an egg in your face will feel like a luxurious, welcome break from the head-pounding noise.

Then I'll let him shit everywhere, and not clean it up. FUR BABY PARENTS UNITE!

You want a piece of me??? Just say the word...

(via Gothamist)