Let it be heard LOUD AND CLEAR: snow is no excuse! Yes you, you lazy sacks of shit: Pick. it. up. Your dog's poop, that is.

Now that all the snow is melting, the fecal matter smeared on the sidewalks of Park Slope has reached epidemic proportions. And judging from the trail, a whole lot of you poor schlubs have already stepped in it. I'm still recovering from the outrage of sliding in a stealth shit pile somebody had covered with leaves last fall when I ended up smeared AND bloody.

Hell, I grew up in this very city with dogs that left gigantic shit mountains the size of Montezuma. We're talking Old English Mastiffs and Alaskan Malamutes. And my dad was too cheap to invest in a giant pooper scooper, so we used newspapers (it was the age of paper bags). And still, I PICKED IT UP.

I hereby second Nunzio's call for the formation of a dog crap DNA database so we can end this SHIT once and for all. I like the licking too:

"I'm proposing that every dog owner have it's dog's DNA put in a huge database so that a sample of any unpicked-up turd will yield the offender who should then be made to lick the entire street is was found on. just saying."

Who's with me-n-Nunz?