SUPPORT THESE BUSINESSES!

 

GET F'D ON FACEBOOK

SEARCH
Newsletter Sign-up
GET ON OUR EMAIL LIST IF YOU CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF FIPS
REACH OUR AUDIENCE

GOT A TIP? EMAIL US

« Park Slope Breeding: Maggie Gyllenhaal is Preggers | Main | Sweetwolf's Has Opened! »
Tuesday
Nov292011

Cool or Not Cool: Getting in trouble for stopping a public masturbator?

Imagine you're a park ranger taking kids on a tour.

Stop it. I know you want to turn this little exercise into a dirty joke, but there's plenty of masturbation coming up.

Anyway. You're a park ranger. You're taking kids on a tour. And then you see someone in the bushes masturbating. What do you do? Most likely you'd guide the tour elsewhere, hope kids didn't see it and try not to act too awkward. Maybe you'll call the cops.

What if I were to tell you that this masturbator had a gun and a bag of weed?

Then you'd definitely run like hell.

But if you were awesome -- and it's okay that you're not, most of us aren't -- you would bust the perp and hold him until the cops showed up (while trying not to touch him too much). Because that's what awesome people do.

Apparently, the Parks Department does not define awesome the correct way. As you may recall, a park ranger stopped a masturbating, gun toting, weed-smoking prep a few weeks ago. Instead of a "thank you," or a "good job," he was reprimanded. The correct course of action, according to them, would be to run away and call the cops. Since he did not follow that particular course of action, he's in trouble. No word on what punishment, if any, he'll receive aside from the slap on the wrist and lecture he already got.

So: Cool or Not Cool?
I say NOT COOL, if only because I can't stand to live in a universe where that's anything but VERY cool.

 

Reader Comments

There are no comments for this journal entry. To create a new comment, use the form below.

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>