I'm not so sure if Jesus has come back or whatever was supposed to have happened on Easter, but I am sure of one thing: his fundamentalist army has landed on Eighth Avenue (in a very glamorous vehicle parked outside of the Memorial Baptist Church at that).
As a rule, there's not much I find funny because I'm sort of a shitty snob with a poor sense of humor, but one of my top five, never-fail sources of LOLZ is Bob Jones University: the idea of it, the people who attend it, its history with accreditation, and basically every word on its Christlike (yep, this is a word) website. So, please imagine the look on my face when I came across this walking to dinner. BJU HAS COME. AND THEY'RE GONNA EITHER MAKE YOU BELIEVE IN CHRIST OR CALL YOU A LIBERAL AND EAT YOUR BRAINS.
Let me back up: if you're not familiar with BJU, just navigate to this page. They identify themselves "the foremost fundamentalist Christian university," which I won't touch with a ten-foot pole because I shouldn't have to.
Now that you're properly educated, let's take a quick poll below. What were the unbiasedly educated, accepting of all diverse human perspective, equal-opportunity lovers doing hangin' out in the Slope?
a) "[Growing] Christlike character that is scripturally disciplined, others-serving, God-loving, Christ-proclaiming and focused above" in everyone in the Sud's (note the apostrophe, plz) on Eighth laundromat
b) Teaming with the Westboro Baptist Church to break the Park Slope record for biggest bakesale of products made with the blood of real, live Jews
c) EATING BRAINS
d) All of the above, especially the EATING BRAINS part
Of course, I don't want to unfairly speculate, so please feel free to add your suggestions in the comments.