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I'm A BR-ALLER

Diktionary

*BALLER - n. Kid free-n-lovin it

*BFI - n. Brilliant fucking idea

*BREEDER - n. Baby maker

*BR-ALLER - n. a BREEDER who's proven themselves to be cool enough that, despite their tendencies to procreate, can still maintain the basic principles of a BALLER attitude and lifestyle.

*COOPRETARD - n. Any annoying person who works at the Park Slope Food Coop

*D.I.N.K-n. Dual income, no kids

*FIPS - n. Fucked in Park Slope; the most badass'd blog on the dub dub dub

*SILTH - n. Sloper I'd Like To Hurt

*SAHM (or "SHAM") - n. Stay At Home Mom

 *SCHADENFOER - n. The feeling of envy and/or hate toward literary wunderkind and Park Slope resident, Jonathan Safran Foer

« You Rock, Neal Block! Whoever you are... | Main | Even "In Treatment" is Making Fun of Park Slope Breeders »
Wednesday
Sep012010

Another Little Piece of Gary Shteyngart, Now, Baby

I'm among the throngs who've just cracked open Gary Shteyngart's newest, Super Sad True Love Story.  (On a totally unrelated note, turns out reading In Cold Blood while fighting off an anesthesia hangover is basically the worst idea ever.)

Anyway, in an interview with NY1, clearly the only news channel after my own heart, turns out Mr. Fancy Pants Bestseller himself accidentally gifted his reject pages to my own fine avenue in our beloved little neighborhood: 

Shteyngart says he was so upset with an early version of his first book that he chucked it -- 500 pages in the garbage. One problem though, the bag broke as it was being carried out to the dumpster.

"Seventh Avenue in Park Slope was covered with my manuscript from one end to the other, pages fluttering around. Stupidly I put Gary Shteyngart at the top of every page if some editor should see it. My friends would walk around and say 'Page 230 is looking pretty good here,'" says Shteyngart.

Did I find any of these pages floating around?  No.  If I had, would I have paused for a moment and considered turning them in to my agent?  No comment.

Sure, Gary doesn't live 'round here (Gary, we're on a first name basis, FYI), but I'm thinking that JSF better watch his back.  I have a hunch we're all in the mood for a new literary sweetheart.  Also, use better trash bags, gang.

(Image via Marny Smith)

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