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Saturday
Mar132010

GET STOKED AND GET FAT: DINE IN BROOKLYN

If Marty Markowitz says the wait is over, then folks, shit's o-v-e-r.

The only thing I like more than eating fine food myself is making sure your asses are eating tons of it, too, so I can look impossibly thin while standing next to you (more deep fried cupcakes, oui?). 

March 15th through the 25th, fancy-pants Brooklyn restaurants are offering three-course dinners for 25 bucks (and lunch for $20.10 for you, uh, "freelancers" in the nabe during the day) during Dine In Brooklyn.  There are a whopping 35 Park Slope places on that list, including Applewood, Sette, al di la, Rose Water, and only nine zillion others.  On my prohibitive writer's salary (full-disclosure: writing for FIPS does not a billionaire make), I know I'm stoked - especially when all I need to do to gorge myself is walk down the street.  Don't lie; I know the idea pleases your lazy, poor (albeit gorgeous) selves, as well.

The deets are here, and the full restaurant list can be grabbed here.  (An aside, not related to Slope - if you don't drag yourselves down to L&B if you've never been, I'll find you all and do things to you that I don't want to put in writing on the Internet.)

Maybe my Manhattan friends will actually come see me now?  Maybe?  Anyone?  Guys, you listening?

Friday
Mar122010

Bullshit from the Brits: This Week In Yeah, Right [SEX!]

 

 

So, there's this new study from across the pond that says that dudes want to do it until they DIE. This might have actually been semi-timely if Erica wasn't so busy BALLING and birthday partying in Austin!!

Given the UK’s history of self-deluded geographical big-dick braggadocio,  I can’t help but wonder if this finding is more aspirational than actual. Maybe all the ladies are tired of laying back and thinking of England by the time they hit 80.

Not to mention, was it written by men? Let’s face it, the dudes are coasting on reputation at this point. Are they really as hot to trot as they say on surveys?

It seems fishy to me that men can outlast the girls given the evidence alone: they hit their sexual prime 20 years before their female counterparts, die sooner,  and need Viagra to get it up by 50.

What do you people think?

 

Thursday
Mar112010

WHO GIVES A SHIT: ARE YOU CUH-RAY-ZAY?

The verdict is in: New York is #7 of 57 major metro areas on The Daily Beast's list of craziest cities.  Highly scientific ranking including number of shrinks per capita, stress, eccentricity (that's you, Park Slope), and of course how hard you are hitting the bottle...in a bar with your baby.  Nope, FIPS will never let that one go.  We're too crazy, I guess.  Just the facts:

#7, New York

Psychiatrists per capita: 4 out of 57
Stress: 19 out of 57
Eccentricity: 4 out of 57
Drinking: 49 (tie) of out 57

So what do you clinically insane, self-medicating, shrink's-couch-living fucks think - does this sound about right?  Or are you too busy mixing Ativan and Glenlivet to even coherently respond in the comments?

Thursday
Mar112010

South By Park Slope? [SXPS --> SXSW]

Greg and I left today for South By Southwest (don't even think of robbing us. Our friend is dog sitting for Oliver and we have a Mission Impossible type alarm system in our apartment with laser beams-n-shit).

Anyway.

South By Southwest (SXSW) is an Interactive, Film and Music conference that's held every year down in Austin, TX. We're just going for the interactive part, cause we're geeky like that.

Anyway, shit might be a little slow around here until next Weds.

If you follow me on Twitter, though, shit will NOT likely be slow there. In fact, if you could give a rat's ass about all this technology SXSW BS, you may want to unfollow my ass for a few days.

Anyone else going? (If so, @ me on Twitter to get on this growing list of NYers who will be there).

Wednesday
Mar102010

YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT: Breast Milk Cheese

Some guy is selling his wife's breast milk cheese at his restaurant. His phone is "ringing off the hook" with total fucking morons who want to try this shit. HE HAS THIS BREAST MILK CHEESE PAIRED WITH A RIESLING.

Is this real life?

Cause I'm actually starting to think that all this shit is part of some big marketing ploy engineered by Denise Albert, and Park Slope Parents and all those other annoying Mombies, just to ensure that the "parenting lobby" stays firmly planted in the weekly news frenzy.

Cause otherwise I've got to acknowledge the fact that we live in world where breast milk cheese is considered OK...and that's a hard fucking pill for me to swallow.

[Sidenote: what is the BALLER equivalent of this anyway?? Pâté made with my already ingested morning after pills? Pot brownies? Oh wait...].

(via The NY Post)