Each week Once in a blue moon, we will attempt to bring you the unbiased, unedited points-of-view of a bonafide, ginuwine Park Slope Breeder (mom/dad) and a real deal, smokin, sexin, drinkin Park Slope Baller (child free-n-lovin it) on a variety of topics. Identities will remain anonymous, of course, to protect the soon-to-be lynched.
You have GOT to be fucking kidding me about this one, BREEDERS.
Thanks to the NYT, I've learned all about a sub-group of parents who have made it their life's mission to ban ice cream trucks.
I shit you not. Read all about it for yourself: When Parents Scream Against Ice Cream.
WHY IN THE FUCK would anyone want to ban the lovable, fun-filled ice cream truck, you might wonder? Because everytime their itty bitty bebes see the ice cream man they waaaaaannnnt soooooome. And then they crrrrrrrry. And it's soooooo HAAAAAAAAAAAAARD.
OF COURSE the first incensed mother featured in the article is a Park Slope rez--O-F C-O-U-R-S-E:
I mean, we do our fair share of bitching, making fun of and complaining around here, but maybe its all an act? (Maybe I AM a member of the Food Coop!...and maybe I DO have a secret bebe who only wears hemp onesies and eats organic vegetables! Maybe I wear CROCS! Maybe I LOVE the shit out of living in Park Slope!!?? Don't you???).
And so, we've got another simple question: Do you like living in Park Slope?
Again, answer in the comments (and feel free to go stealth anon if you want some priv-ass-y).
Woodstock Woodstock Woodstock! In case you’ve been away from every form of mass media imaginable for the last week or so, these past few days marked the 40th anniversary of Woodstock, with the festival closing out 40 years ago yesterday. What began as a somewhat small festival a few hours north in upstate New York ballooned to a gathering of 500,000 people & became one of the defining moments of the Sixties. Then Altamont & The Manson Family came along, people died because of both & the idealism of the Sixties soon came to a screeching halt.
...but Woodstock was memorable & really brought people together, so to celebrate the anniversary, in this week’s Block-Off!, we’ll be bringing together the remaining businesses we haven’t covered on 5th, 6th 7th & 8th and pitting those on the odd avenues against those on the even avenues. That means that on 5th, we’ll be covering the block from Sterling to Park, on 6th, the blocks between Union & Park, on 7th, the blocks from 7th to 5th and from St. John’s to Flatbush & on 8th, everything from 9th to Flatbush…and no, we won’t be covering the areas of 4th, 5th & 6th beyond Park Place, as on the day when I first drew the boundaries of the Block-Off!, the Wikipedia definition of Park Slope put the north border at Park Place. The Wiki page has since been changed, but I don’t deal well with change, so I’m not embracing this new definition.
To top it off, this week we’ll be ignoring all the apartment buildings & empty storefronts & extraneous crap to give you nothing but the straight, unfiltered Block-Off! poop. There’s just way too much extraneous crap on the blocks. As one set of blocks reflects on Woodstock with memories of free love & Hendrix & Sha Na Na, the other set will get confused & think that the Chili Peppers headlined & won’t be able to understand why everyone’s so nostalgic for three days of literal raping & pillaging. Let the muddy, idealistic, flower power infused judging begin!