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Tuesday
Apr202010

FIPS CARES: Clothing Repairs & Alterations?

I believe it was the wise Black Eyed Peas who once said (and I quote): "They say they love my ass in / Seven Jeans, True religion..." Couldn't have said it better myself.

Anyway, remember that recesh that sent our economy flying into a giant pile of shit? Well, some of us mofos are still waiting to get over that, except the problem is -- our gentrified jeans ain't waiting. I'll spare you the details (FINE, my thighs are currently a leeetle too close together -- it's a genetic defect), bottom line: I need someone who can do a decent job fixing my hot pants, preferably without charging up the ass for it.

Thoughts? Suggestions? As always, if you're afraid of the Slope tailor mafia, feel free to go stealth anon.

 [ed. note: OH SNAP! I got another tip that Janine is an absolute miracle worker. You can reach her at sewjanine@gmail.com].

Tuesday
Apr202010

8TH AVE BIKE HIT-AND-RUN: LET'S LEARN A LESSON, PEOPLE

Consider yourself forewarned: I'm about to get on my self-righteous, bloggy high-horse (yes, more than usual).

So, since Saturday (weekend before last) was so stupid gorgeous outside, I took my new bike out for a spin around the Slope.  I haven't owned a bike that actually worked properly in a few years, so this is the first time I was able to really ride around here.  Since then I've had every intention to shoot off my mouth about how there's no way you can truly understand how insanely important a bike lane is until you've actually BEEN on the roads and had to avoid the fucks who idle in the dedicated 9th Street lane. Which, of course, is still totally true.  But last Thursday night around 11, I heard a huge crashing sound outside of my window, popped my head out, and saw a biker on the ground, his front tire lodged under a pickup truck. And not two seconds after I opened my window and yelled down to see if he was okay, the truck fucking sped away.

Click to read more ...

Monday
Apr192010

COFFEE WARS: Gorilla Coffee Employees Fighting the Fight in Other States Now!?

What the fuck this *even* means, I can barely comprehend but from what I can gather, here's the scoop:

  • There was a conference last week called The Specialty Coffee of America Exposition in Anaheim, CA (SCAA).

  • Some chick named Jaime Vandura from Coffea Cultura was conducting "private cuppings" (don't ask) and available for chatting at their booth at said event.

  • All of this information was publicly posted on their site.

Then, the chick leaves this comment on the site on 4/18 at 4:34am:

"I have left Anaheim already, my apologies. There were some confrontations with ex-Gorilla Coffee baristas who seemed to be looking for new conflicts. I thought it was better to depart and deal with it later. -J"

Then some other dude named Matthew Hill left the following comment on 4/18 at a more reasonable 10:24pm:

"Jaime – Sorry I missed you. Yes, the Gorilla thing is out of control. At least one of them was at our booth and very hostile – said decaf espresso is not possible..."

DAYM!?

WTF people??

Ok, so again, I have zero clue what all this actually means, but I'm slightly confused by reports of ex-Gorilla employees who now seem to be looking to take their Battle Royale national?

Anyone have scoop?

Monday
Apr192010

HEADS UP: MOVE YR PRIUS, YOU ENTITLED YUPS

Photo: 6H057.NET

A heads up from our buddies at Neighborhoodr: Park Slope -- "Bored To Death" will be filming in Slope(ish area) on Tuesday, April 20th (stop your 420 giggling, you people are supposed to be adults).

Now, I'm not telling you this so you can skip work and go squeal and hold up signs to celebrate your Jonathan Ames fandom (though I know some of you have already opened up your mail clients to tell your bosses that your clairvoyant self sees an elephant stampede rendering you unable to attend work on Tuesday).  Rather, I'm giving you the FYI because if your car is parked on Bergen between Fifth and Sixth, your ass will be illegally parked on Tuesday.  And I know, from this hilarious sign, that some of you won't be moving your hippie-mobiles until alternate side strikes:

"People who park here don’t necessarily live on this block & won’t see these signs. They will believe they are legally parked until 7:30am on Tues. If you care as you say you do about inconveniencing the neighborhood you wouldn’t wait until 3 days prior to put up signs. A minimum of one week so people would see it when they parked would be considerate."

Click to read more ...

Monday
Apr192010

THE BALLER VERSION OF HELL

BREEDERS, ever wonder what the BALLER version of hell on Earth is?  Sing-a-long hour at the Tea Lounge? The Seventh Avenue Halloween parade?  No.  It is called YMCA Healthy Kids Day.  And holy shit is it frightening.

I dragged my ass out of bed to get in my Saturday AM workout at the Armory - you know, the one place where I can clear my head and pretend no one else exists - and walked through the door to this fucking rugrat jamboree.  I may have seen my dating life flash before my eyes, a chorus of animated diapers chanting, "Single girl, you are no longer welcome."

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