Newsletter Sign-up



[FIPS CARES] Goose On The Loose

Someobody shot a motherfucking goose in Prospect Park with a motherfucking arrow!?


From the Manhattan Bird Club and FIDO Yesterday:

Today, a goose with an arrow in its neck eluded efforts capture by animal rescue volunteers and Park Rangers by flying off. It is important that the brid receive medical help if it is to survive.

If anyone happens to be in the vicinity of the Lake tomorrow and spots this wounded bird, please call the Park Supervisor's office at: 718-287-9889.

If anyone sees someone walking around Park Slope with a bow and arrow and Goose feathers in their hair, I think I speak for everyone at FIPS when I say: you have our FULL PERMISSION to kick the living shit out of them, wrestle them to the ground, and then take an iPhone photo to send to us [ok fine: I'm not REALLY telling you to go beat ppl up, but also this is seriously fucked up shit].

If I find out who did this I *will* cut a bitch.

p.s. I know this might be an inappropriate time to bring this up, but in Nursery School wed did Chicken Little as a play and I had a co-starring role as Goosey Lucy. So laugh if you must, but this shit now has an EXTRA layer of meaning for me.

(via The L Magazine)


Anyone Have $3.4 Mil? Because This PPW Place Is Lookin' Suh-Weet

News from the Curbed wire yesterday: A 2,400 square foot townhouse at 65 PPW (between 2nd and 3rd Streets, if your Google Maps finger is feeling particularly lazy) is on the market for $3.4 million.  "What's the big deal, Meredith?" you ask while twisting your handlebar mustache, "Lotsa fancy-ass places up on the Pee Pee Dubs."  Because the exact same place just sold for a paltry $1.4 eight months ago.

Curbed isn't sure what the cause is for the $2 million Corcoran markup (we're back and forth between "renovations" and "corporate hubris," leaning towards the latter), so I figured I'd ask: Does anyone have the scoop on this place?  Have any of you who live around there (who am I kidding, those people are too fancy to read our FIPS bitching) seen a metric ton of construction going on, or did some intern have a little too much fun at a DUMBO warehouse party the night before he had to put this listing into the computer?

Another peek at the floorplan and curbside photo here.  I wonder: If we all pool our money, anyone into buying this place and making it the official FIPS party house?  We'll be like Misshapes meets The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, except there'll be tons of fucking babies.  I mean tons of 'em.


FIPS Cares: Hope For Brooklyn

Holy Shit, I was just chased down Garfield by Tracy Flick. I signed her petition to get her on the ballot for "female district leader."

I will def be voting for her come November, if only because her bio says "when she was a senior at Hunter College High School, she brought a suit against then Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld for illegal military recruitment tactics."

And there is that awesome photo above. God, I want her to unbutton a few buttons on that blue oxford. 

Click to read more ...


WHO GIVES A SHIT: Where Do You Get Your Hair Cut?

So, I cheat on my normal hairstylist for a simple trim and what do I come away with?  Bangs that make me look like I'm flirting with some sort of horrible Bettie Page time warp.  And no, I can't recover any charm in the situation now that I've been told, "Yeah, you've definitely looked better."

I'm not going to name the stylist or shit on his/her reputation because I'm fairly certain we just had a (massively epic appearance-aleringly bad) miscommunication, but needless to say I'm looking to move on.  And not just to another person at that salon--this was the second stylist I'd tried at this particular Slope establishment, of which I adore the atmosphere, staff, prices, and general upscale-ness, so naturally, I'm disappointed.  But clearly, we're just not on the same (Bettie) page.

So, I pass the torch to you, ladies: Where do you go in the 'hood to get your hair cut?  I have my ninja-levels-of-awesome-fancy-stylist at a salon embarrassingly far from Brooklyn (read: literally in another state), but I need to find a new place where I can go to make sure I avoid the wet dog look on a monthly basis when my bangs take over my face.

Suggestion box open.


FIPS Food Throwdowns: The Pizza Edition [Suggestions, pleaze]

It's time for our yet another edition of our monthly series, FIPS Food Throwdowns.  And I don't know about you bitches, but if I think "delivery," I think pizza. 

So, what two places should we try out?  Who has the best pizza in Park Slope?  Tell me tell me tell me!