MISS TRANSIT AUTHORITY: 2 train, Wall Street to Eastern Parkway; 3:49 am, Saturday

You probably though MTA stood for "Metro Transit Authority," but round here it stands for "Miss Transit Authority." Every couple of weeks, Nadine (aka MissTA) will take you for a ride on the rails (or, fuck it, on a bus) like you've never taken before. Whenever possible, real pics and names will be used to embarrass people, cause what do we care?

You know that moment on the subway? After the spirited exit from a bar, a cab deemed too decadent until the foot shifting, buzz-flattening 20 minutes on the platform, the preview to a late-night MTA funhouse? And you look at your phone, see you left the party 58 minutes ago, noting you're not drunk OR home? Not home at all?

This slumping gentleman is in Acceptance, the 5th stage of grief for his Saturday night, and his emotional voyage was more remarkable than any of the surrounding metropolitan horrors I could capture.

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BREEDER vs. BALLER: Your Kid's Fork Is In My Motherfucking Soup: Restaurant Wars

Each week we will attempt to bring you the unbiased, unedited points-of-view of a bonafide, ginuwine Park Slope Breeder (mom/dad) and a real deal, smokin, sexin, drinkin Park Slope Baller (child free-n-lovin it) on a variety of topics. Identities will remain anonymous, of course, to protect the soon-to-be lynched.

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Brooklyn = Pink [Buzz]

+ Marty Markowitz is coo coo for cocoa puffs, er, I mean he held a "funeral" for the M and R lines today. So, yeah...uhm...that happened (City Room)

+ Nunu Chocolate opens in Brooklyn (Gothamist)

+ Palazzo Chupi's new website! (Curbed)

+ Arrested Development Movie is AWN (Buzzfeed)

+ Brownstoner is on Twitter (and so are we) (Brownstoner)

+ Take the Brooklyn Tunnel Tour (Brooklyn Hall of Fame)

Peeing in Your Boss's Snapple is: a. Hilarious b. Disgusting c. Inevitable?

(image via Brooklyn Paper/Allyse Pulliam)

Urban Alchemist has been running an art exhibit called Dirty Secrets. Basically you write down a deep/dark/dirty secret on a piece of paper and then they hang it in their front window.

1. Rad!
2. Which one of our FIPS readers "felt so put upon by his bosses that when they went on vacation, he urinated in their Snapple bottles and then watched in glee when the bosses drank from them days later?"

(Daily Intel via Brooklyn Paper)

[Trying to Get Fucked] In Park Slope

This is an ongoing series in which we attempt to bring you lots 'o different perspectives on what its like to *actually* live in Park Slope...from readers just like you (or not--that's the whole point).

This week's column is special cause its gonna go down all regular-n-shit, once-a-week style: meet our own Jew-cy, randy, "can I get some action up in herrre, plz!," Park Slope hetero: "Mark*" (*names have been changed to protect the soon-to-be-fucked).

I've been fucked in Park Slope, and I wouldn't mind it happening again. Soon, preferably.

I've lived here for five years; through long-term relationships, long-distance flings (read: Williamsburg), and long-lasting dry spells. I've been dry for months now. The longest since I awkwardly convinced my first girlfriend a decade ago that having sex with me was a good idea (it wasn't). I'm ashamed to say that the last time I saw a girl naked was September.

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