This is our week-long dive head first into the trenches of holiday gift shopping, Park Slope style. Buy local, bitches! Unless, of course, you enjoy walking past empty storefronts every ten feet. In today's edition we cover annoying co-workers and BREEDERS.
The holidays are upon us, and since we all hate the Atlantic Center Mall as much as Tiger Woods’ wife hates him right about now (can you imagine what THAT place was like on Black Friday? I’m shuddering), we decided to compile a list of cool gifts you can get for the various dbags in your life.
Each day, we’ll give you a bunch of gift suggestions for two of the people who fall into these ten gift-buying categories:
- Co-worker you hate but have to pretend to like
- Breeder friend and/or their bitch-ass kids
- Douchey granola-eating, Birkenstock-wearing hippie friend
- The drunk in your life
- Lovable nerds (and/or your dorky kid brother)
- Home design gurus
- Overly sentimental "spirit guide" friends who constantly remind you of their life motto: “LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE.”
- Fur baby mamas-n-daddies
- Foodie friends
- Brooklyn snobs
All of the gifts we’ve picked are a.) relatively affordable and b.) can be bought right here in Park Slope (more specifically, on 7th or 5th avenues). So stay tuned for FIVE DAYS of cool shit (via crappy iPhone photos, smart ass, potentially-offensive commentary, and an occasional high-res photo we googled when we got home).
True confessions: doesn’t it feel nice to know that you can get all of your holiday shopping done without even having to get on the subway? Good thing, too, because the F train isn’t running again. Or is it? Who even fucking knows anymore?
The BK Meatup was kinda off the shizzy last night.
That little shindig that Brooklyn Based and I threw was just as much fun the second time around.
And, honestly, based on the number of couples I saw making out in dark corners, bathrooms, alleys, in front of Asia Dog booths and right out in the friggin open, I would be willing to bet a one year membership to Park Slope parents that many of your asses got laid last night.
Surprisingly, I'm not dead yet. But I am so totally fucking tired, my blood sort of hurts this morn.
So we will return tomorrow with our regularly scheduled programming, including a proper write-up of EVERYTHING that went down at the Naughty Office Party.
Ok, so in case you haven't noticed my 9543 posts about the Naughty Office Party Holiday Meatup (that's right, we wanna get you laid), we've been a teensy bit pre-occupied here over at FIPS HQ with sexy Santa costumes, and x-rated photocopy porn.
My RSS reader might be dead...I'm not sure and haven't bothered to check. And I haven't been on Brooklynian since my "Fips is pathetic" thread got way too positive and somone deleted it.
So what the fuck is going on this week? How is everyone? What are you doing and who are you doing with? I miss you assholes.
Talk to me, Park Slope Zeitgeist (in the comments...duh).