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Tuesday
Jan192010

The Streets of Park Slope: College Alum Bumper Sticker Tour

click to enlarge

Back in November, we wondered where the hell all you bitches went to college. But now someone has taken this shit WAY further with the creation of this map that tracks college bumper stickers on cars across Park Slope from September through December of 2009.

Not really sure wtf this all means, though I'd like to send a shoutout to the GWU alum that looks to be on...uhm...6th ave and 5th street ish?? What up homie!

Anyway, this Gawker commenter kinda makes a good point: "A Subaru-density heat map would be way more useful."

(via Gawker)

Tuesday
Jan192010

FOLLOW UP: The Pancake Shop Heartbreaker

From a bummed out FIPS reader:

So, since hearing about the slightly shady and super-seductive Pancake Shop delivery service, I've been dreaming of fluffy flapjacks at my door. I tried to give it a spin this weekend, because their 9am-4pm delivery schedule invalidates my weekday dough joneses.

For at least two days in a row, they have been "not taking orders," and it seems they'll "let me know" when they're ready to go again.

This is frustrating.

I feel like I am dating this pancake delivery service, and it's trying to avoid me until it thinks of a way to let me down easy. There is SOMEONE at the other end promising me free pancakes when they're up and running again, but I just don't know anymore. So now I'm going to some diner and hoping their pancakes can hold me like these never will.

Sounds like a major pancake fail, bitches. Anyone else have scoop?

Tuesday
Jan192010

The Starbuck Stops Here: Since When Are Breeders Not Allowed In Starbucks??

I’m starting to develop a complex.
 
I get that you free and happy people don’t want me and my annoying kids in your bars. And I’m okay with that (although helicopter mom did have a point that we breeders need alcohol by 5:30 way worse than you ballers. And since we’re back home in our jammies by eight, clearing the way for you to move in from 8-2, its not such a big deal. Anyway...)
 
So yeah--I’m willing to give you the bars.
 
But Starbucks? I protest.

Click to read more ...

Tuesday
Jan192010

Farrell's: Where Cheap Mofos Binge Drink

The National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism defines binge drinking as drinking massive amounts of alcohol in a short amount of time.  In a two hour span, if you drink more than 4-5 drinks, you're a binge drinker. 

But if anyone's been to college, or to Jackie's Fifth Amendment on a Friday night, you know that binge drinking is pretty much the norm. We all live in New York, where you're physically and emotionally assaulted on a daily basis.  Frankly, I'm pretty sure that the only thing that keeps everyone from murdering everyone in their general vicinity is the knowledge that a bottle of vodka is chilling in the freezer, just waiting for consumption.  That, or a heavy dosage of Xanax.   

Click to read more ...

Friday
Jan152010

BEBES IN BARS: PART XVXLLIV

Hiroko Masuike for The New York Times

Fuck if I even know if that's an actual Roman numeral above, ppl. See I got way bigger fish to fry, so I can't even googlez it. Here's why:

The NYT posted this gloriously penned, ranty, BREEDER bashing letter today, written by a Park Slope BALLER named Risa Chubinsky. Ms. Chubinsky is kind of annoyed that everytime she goes out to get her drink on, her mellow gets harshed on by little Eloises, Mathias' (how the fuck do you even pluralize that??) and Olivia bebes, who seem to be breast feeding, pissing, and lining up their bottles in all the bars this chick likes to go to.

Anyway.

Then Gothamist posted about this shit too, and so what the fuck am I supposed to do people??

So, eventhough I'm gettin ready for all the "snooze!" "boring," "posting about this is like posting a trend piece on hipsters in Williamsburg" bullshit comments from all of your asses, here's what I gotta say to that: TOUGH. I've got to post it too (obvs).

People are still talking about bebes in bars, and so we are too.