This is our week-long dive head first into the trenches of holiday gift shopping, Park Slope style. Buy local, bitches! Unless, of course, you enjoy walking past empty storefronts every ten feet. In today's edition we cover BK snobs and sensitive cry babies.
These kebabs are not from Istanbul Park...but shit there is even *better* than these mofos. Guaranteed.
If you’re still wandering all the way over to Zaytoon on Smith St. for your falafel fix, two words: Fuck you.
Each time you make your way over to Boerum Hill for some cheap shawarma lovin’, a very important piece of Park Slope dies.
I’m talking about Istanbul Park (previously mentioned and loved on), which inhabits the space on 7th Ave. formerly occupied by No No Kitchen. Istanbul is all sorts of awesome: otherworldly chicken kebab, perfectly good ghanoush and an array of lamb dishes that make me wonder if the animals were raised on beer and daily massages, just like Kobe cows. This food is seriously good--and cheap. And yet, the place is always empty.
If you're bored out of your mind, and need something to do just for kicks, start researching the "how to blog" scene. Between Google (391,000,000 results), Twitter and a few choice sites like Read, Write, Web, Copyblogger & the pre-eminent emperor of all blogging advice, Pro Blogger, you're gonna be busy learning all about this "how to blog" shit until Dakota Fanning grows pubes.
There are somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 bajillion articles (I've counted) on the following topics: how to engage your readers, how to monetize your readers, how to write posts that your readers are gonna like reading, how to think of ideas for posts, how to use randomly linked words in the middle of your posts to earn extra income so you can buy more weed, how to market your blog, how to publicize your blog, how to build your "personal brand," how to ruin your "personal brand," how to use Twitter and other social networks in conjunction with your blog, how to ensure your readers will keep coming back to your blog, how to use statistical data to understand whether readers ARE or NOT coming back to your blog, how to blog about your personal life, how to not blog about your personal life, how to get your readers to give you a virtual blow job...DO YOU GET IT YET???
Our blogging buds at Brokelyn are planning a little holiday get together shindig thing for Thursday night, and there's gonna be boggle! You guys know how to spell-n-shit, right?
Everyone should go, because playing boggle while drinking will make you feel way smarter than you actually are, and then that will probably be pretty fun to watch for everyone else.
There will be $3 Negra Modelos and a $4 Brokelyn Mystery Cocktail, so everyone should plan on getting lit.
Read all about it on Brokelyn.
661 Sackett Street (btwn 4th and 5th aves)
Lynn Harris thinks "Everyone Hates Mommy."
I think Lynn Harris is either:
- A brilliant marketer who conceived of this "shark bait" story with the express purpose of riling bitches up.
- Completely retarded.
I'm hoping its the former, in which case: Brava Lynn!
But if its not...and Lynn Harris *really,* *truly* believes that WHITE, URBAN (!!!???) Mothers are the (mostly) unfair recepients of misplaced societal "vitriol," then I think its time I announce the formation of my new charitable organization: Socialites Helping Socialites (SHS). Cause those bitches get a lot of vitriol too! EVERYONE hates Socialites and its so unfair!