I Am So Getting Laid From This Blogging Thing

In response to my You Are Not My Facebook Friend, Mom post:

Anonymous said...

"effed in park slope, I want to have sex with you. Your eloquence reduces me to mere horniness. If you were a woman I would hate you for your pithy economy of language, but you are a man, and a depraved/deprived one at that. So can you please tell me how we can hook up and make sure you don't write about it here? email me. find out my ip address. i mean it."

January 30, 2009 10:48 PM

Hang in there "Mark"...there's plenty more where this came from.

p.s. FIPS, I love the shit out of you.

What's With All The Hipsters?

(photo = Hipster Runoff via theCobrasnake)

"What's the deal? The dark frame glasses, tight jeans, scruffy faces, Brooklyn Industries bags, incredible skinniness, Chuck Taylor sneakers? Why are they all such carbon copies? I thought that whole style started as a way to be different, and now it's like a population of people who are exactly like each other and who are, in fact, very difficult to tell apart. I'm not trying to be offensive here, I'm truly curious. Does anyone know?"

BWAAAHHAHAAAAAAAHHHHAAAAA.

Yes, please! Does anyone KNOW??

(via Brooklynian)

Brooklyn = Porny [BUZZ]

+ Sunset Park is porny. (Brownstoner)

+ Raise your hand if you wished you worked at Slate Magazine. (NYO)

+ New New Yorkers. (Kottke)

+ Uniqlo's Spring Line revealed. (Racked)

+ Don't forget the Idiotarod this weekend (Brooklyn Paper)

A PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE: You Are Not My Facebook Friend, Mom

Dear Mothers, Fathers, Mothers-in-Law, Fathers-in-Law, Most Aunts, Most Uncles, Godparents and Friends of Parents,

I think its great that many of you are embracing technology, texting with your kids, using digital cameras and, perhaps, even video chatting with your grandkids. In fact, I encourage to you to continue exploring the dub dub dub with reckless abandon. Set up an RSS reader for yourself! Start a family blog! Make your own greeting cards! Download some foreign language podcasts!

There is much out there on the web for you to enjoy.

But, here's the thing (and I'm sorry if its hard for you to hear this) but this is the honest truth that many of my Generation X, Y and We comrades are not quite sure exactly how to tell you is this: WE DO NOT WANT TO BE YOUR FUCKING FACEBOOK FRIENDS.

Click to read more ...

FIPS Parenting Tip #2: Always Check Your Kid's Homework

Some 4th grade class was supposedly making pictures of what they wanted to be when they grew up.

The teacher saw this picture and freaked- but here's how the mom responded:

Dear Mrs. Jones,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.

I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.

From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Chase

Pretty funny, but it's obviously fake:

1. The printing on the drawing looks too neat.
2. No fourth-grader in the United States would publicly use the word Mommy for fear of a classmate beatdown
3. Mrs. Jones? Nga Plz.

Meh, I'll give 'em the benefit of the doubt - maybe it's a re-enactment. In any case, check your kid's damn homework.