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Thursday
Jan282010

'KILL JEWS' [Can We All Just Agree That This One Falls Under 'Not Cool?']

photo: Stephen Brown/Brooklyn Paper

This shit kinda makes me rethink the Hasidic driver post.

Some nice BREEDER picked up like two dozen "Kill Jews" strips of paper strewn along Sixth Avenue yesterday before turning them over to the police.

Daym, people.

(via The Brooklyn Paper)

Thursday
Jan282010

Ass-Off

In honor of National Personal Trainer Awareness Day, Healthy Weight Week, and in breathless anticipation of getting my married rocks off at the Valentine’s Shag PJ Party Erica is planning (yes, that’s right: I sent that cougar needs to get laid email--not!), I am crash dieting.

I know: you PC Park Slopers think I should love my fat ass as is and focus on a healthy body image, but my six-year-old AND my 11-year-old have started making fun of me as I struggle valiantly into my inexplicably tight jeans. My husband has taken to using code words like lush curves, rubenesque, or worse, no comment.

Click to read more ...

Thursday
Jan282010

I'm Less Of An Asshole...Because of My Dog

As you've all probably noticed by now, my maternal instincts are non-existent.

I don't feel a twitch in my uterus when a particularly cute bebe zooms by me in a bugaboo; I feel no need to tilt my head, crinkle my eyes, and exclaim "AWWWW" everytime a DILF approaches me on the street; and though I can certainly tell the difference between an ugly ass baby and a cute baby, my heart is not melted by either. Baby showers annoy the living shit out of me, apartments with babies living in em literally make me cringe (all those toys-n-crap EVERYWHERE), and I swear, I would rather sit next to a 400 pound fat dude with no deoderant on and a flatulance problem on a plane than have to tough it out on a flight next to a baby.

I don't know wtf is wrong with me, but those are the facts.

Click to read more ...

Thursday
Jan282010

Whassup?

*AN IPAD!!! That's what up, motherfuckers (Engadget).

*Make Soap on Sat! (use code Brooklyn-Based for 20% the class) (Brooklyn Based).

*Get non-motivated and deconstruct the Brooklyn species with Amy Sohn, Baruch Herzfeld, and that hot digital doc Dr. Jay Parkinson tonight (Gelf Magazine).

*Celebrate Purim Pour Em with Heeb Magazine and those creative mofos at 3rd Ward (Heeb).

*Get your fat ass in gear with Hula Hoop fitness at BAX (sidenote: I'm surprisingly adept at hula hooping. Not sure why or how this happened, but I can rock those mofo hula hoops o-u-t) (OTBKB).

*I missed the No Pants Subway ride this year, so this video of all the action srsly made me smile (Color Me Katie).

*And the Banh mi sandwich wars rage on and on and on...much like the Vietnam War, apparently (NY Post).

Wednesday
Jan272010

ARE MARRIED COUGARS LOOKIN' FOR ACTION WELCOME AT THE MEATUP?

This just in from the FIPS mailbag:

Do you know whether Meatup people are generally looking for a new girlfriend/boyfriend, or a one-night stand? If a married-but-still sexy MILF/BR-ALLER in her 40s shows up, looking for Mr. Right Now (but not necessarily Mr. Right), is there a snowball's chance in hell that she could get laid?

Well, fine readers: what say you?

[Personally, I think that if this MILF is actually a ginuwine MILF (and not just a poseur MILF who actually looks like one of these frumpy moms), she has about an 86% chance of getting laid that night].