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Friday
Apr092010

GET YOUR MOTHERFUCKING BACKPACK OUTTA MY MOTHERFUCKING FACE

This picture was taken Wednesday night, around 6:30 on the Brooklyn Bound Q Train. How did I get this photo, you might be wondering? Well, I managed to snap this by lifting up my iphone 1 millimeter from my face. Cause you see, that's WHERE THIS MOTHERFUCKERS'S BACKBACK WAS....DIRECTLY IN MY FACE.

Honestly, I'm bored of this shit too people. Like, why in the Christ are we still having this conversation?? How do you not know by now, that the moment you get on the subway, your backback needs to come OFF OF YOUR MOTHERFUCKING BACK??? You then place said backpack in between your legs, and stand there like a normal fucking human being until its time to get OFF the subway again, at which point you are then free to put your MOTEHRFUCKING BACKBACK back on your motherfucking back.

Any questions???

(p.s. This dude got off the train with me at the 7th Avenue stop...can anyone identify the stripey shirt or hipster wannabe haircut?).

Thursday
Apr082010

Who Gives a Shit: Park Slope Bucket List

Okay, I'm going to be honest: I once tried to write a bucket list and it ended up being more like a hit list than anything else.  But that's just a peak into my angry little life where my dreams revolve around revenge and comeuppance.  

But after I stopped fantasizing about murdering everyone who has wronged me, I thought it might be cool to explore what my Park Slope-specific bucket list is.

Click to read more ...

Thursday
Apr082010

BALLERS AS Parenting Gurus?

In the wake of my little Park Slope Parents kerfuffle, all I have left for my predatory journalistic trolling is you losers.

So, I was thinking: with all the unsolicited parenting advice you BALLER know-it-alls like to dole out, I’d see what actual discipline tips you have for the put-upon BREEDERS of our noble nabe.

I know how you feel about the baby barfly issue...and the gigantic SUV strollers.

But what, as impartial observers and adult children, can you advise us on when it comes to raising the people who will be running the planet when you get too old to do it yourself. It’s in our common interest to raise them right, right?

Click to read more ...

Thursday
Apr082010

Park Slope *Really* Is The Most Welcoming Neighborhood on the Planet...

click to enlarge...or the most stupid.

Fucked in Park Slope was just asked to join the local Chamber of Commerce!

Wednesday
Apr072010

Park Slope Deflowered

First your dog gets mugged, then you're forced to participate in the ritual sacrifices in Prospect Park, and THEN your garden gets raped...welcome to the wonderful world of living in Park Slope!

Click to read more ...