Nate Silver, a statistician known for his uncanny accuracy, has apparently declared Park Slope to be the #1 neighborhood in all of NYC in this week's New York Magazine, just behind the Lower East Side, Sunnyside, Queens and fucking Greenpoint, for chrissakes.
Nabes, according to the Daily News, were evaluated according to "a complicated statistical formula that factors in everything from diversity to safety to nightlife, giving housing affordability more weight than any other category."
I'm telling you now: THIS WILL NOT STAND.
Isn't this place already overrun with enough assholes? Now we need to worry about a new wave of assholes who are probably packing up to move here right now because of this new designation alone?
Need I remind you, New York Magazine: WE ARE AN OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZED TOXIC WASTE ZONE. We are home to some of the most sanctimonious people in the known universe. We shut down disgracefully early. We are overpriced and full of ourselves. You can't count on your favorite coffee joint being open on a Saturday morning because the staff may stage a mass walkout. As one lifer told me last week, "we got no pulse anymore." In short, we are despicable in so many ways I've lost count, so please, PLEASE: don't move here!