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Hidden Slope Oracle: The Tea Lounge Bathroom?

Disclaimer so we don't get sued: This isn't the Tea Lounge bathroom (which, all things considered, is actually pleasant). [ed note: SERIOUSLY?? I ACTUALLY FIND THE TEA LOUNGE BATHROOM TO BE SRSLY VILE]. This is the old CBGB bathroom.  But I'm busy providing photographic ponderance material, so go with me here.

This past weekend, I spent a total of nine hours loitering in the Tea Lounge (with good reason, I assure you): seven on Saturday, and then another two on Sunday.  (To be fair, the ratio of $$ to time I spent may work out to a number that leans more towards "squatting" than "loitering.")

Because downing three large, light ice, hazelnut iced coffees with nonfat milk and a Splenda (in case any of you are dying to buy me a drink next time I'm editing) over the course of five hours is basically the equivalent of consuming a box of diuretic pills like they're Flintstones vitamins, I headed to that bathroom a few times.  And let me tell you, Park Slope; the pearls of wisdom you've left up on those walls for urinators to read--well, I'm speechless.

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Who Gives A Shit: Movin' On Up?

It's moving day for our soon-to-be dearly departed neighbors. Who will rampage through the halls with the rug rats shooting unwitting BALLER neighbors in the ass with nerf guns? Who will chalk up the sidewalks and leave love letters written in glitter glue?

Not the new neighbor, I fear.  Single woman, kid-free and loving it (?), paid in cash. Well, who knows? You BALLERS can be a juvenile crowd! 

In a now familiar spate of downward mobility for the hood's recessionista crowd, our family-friendly neighbors are selling up. Moving down the hill to a rental. Mortgage-free and loving it! But, you know what I lurve about them—aside from the fact that they hang with wine on the front stoop and act like people used to, as a rule, in Park Slope (aka decent and friendly)—they did it with a shrug and good humor. A mortgage doesn't make a house a home. 

Okay, enough of the preaching. 

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Oliver Gets Stoop'd

So Spike Lee collab'd with Absolut on a new flavored vodka, Absolut Brooklyn. Have you seen this shit?

True confessions: I've yet to taste it, but the bottle itself looks pretty damn cool. It's supposedly a nod to the stoop where Lee grew up. "Harkening back to the decades-long notion that the stoop is truly the epicenter of creativity, culture and community, the bottle serves as an homage to that Brooklyn ideal of stoop life--where memories are made and ideas are sparked through conversation and camraderie."

Ok, I don't know about all that, cause my ass doesn't have a stoop. But we live in a neighborhood with a shitload of stoops and I often walk by and get all jel of the people sitting on them. And weirdly, Oliver often tries to walk up and sit on other people's stoops. So all this talk about stoops got me thinking: LET'S TAKE SOME PICS OF OLIVER ON STOOPS! YAY STOOPS! YAY OLIVER! YAY BROOKLYN!

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WHASSUP: Week of June 7th

Some cool shit is going on this week!

*Brokelyn is having their First Annual Charity Ball/Raffle of the Century on Thursday, June 10th and its gonna be bangin! There's all sorts of giveaways and proceeds will go to help pay for their writers (and to support the Brooklyn Public Library). You can RSVP on Facebook or here on Evenbrite.

*I'm gonna be on a panel for Internet Week! Blog Hard: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly of Online Publishing. Emily Gould is going to be moderating and Jauntsetter, VendrTV and Brooklyn Based are also going to be in the house. Also this shit is *almost* sold out, ppl. So if you want in, you best RSVP pronto.

Ok, so now we're gonna try something new: I'm constantly getting emails from all sorts of bitches telling me about cool shit going on in the nabe. Only, I get so many emails, I don't check that shit enough, and stuff sits there for days, and by the time I see it its too late. So if you know of something cool going on this week, post it in the comments. If you have a cool event coming up, post it in the comments, yo! This way, I don't have feel to feel guilty about not posting your shit and YOU don't have to miss any good shit! win/win.



Ok, so we always post about missing dogs, but here's some possible scoop on a possible missing cat from one of our loyal readers:

"A while back, I saw a poster on 3d St. for a missing grey & white cat (it's gone now) and this morning, I spotted what is likely said cat, sans collar, on 5th Ave. by Key Foods. He/she is clearly a house cat, looks maybe 4 yrs old, has a white face w/ grey/black fur on her head and back. She wasn't in the mood to be picked up & carried, but I fed her & tried to get her to follow me home. No dice. If you post this, and anyone has seen that same poster, have them pass the word along!"


We don't have a pic, unfortch, but let us know if you have any scoop.