image via: Huffington Post
WTF is wrong with these people? The junior rug rat has already been home "sick" for two days and now you're telling me that you're making the snow day call already????
This is outside of enough. I frankly see no reason for a citywide snow day, especially just a few days before a weeklong winter break.
Beware, BALLERS! Your kid-free coffee shops won't be safe tomorrow.
On a happy note, though, SNOWBALL FIGHT!!!!
ATTN BALLERS: I'd like to suggest that you stop whatever you are doing right now (put down your bong; step away from the internet porn; and just say no to your new Craigslist missed connection "friend"...at least for a few mins) and head straight on over to Double Windsor!
We'd like to suggest that you go patronize the Double Windsor...HARD.
Buy drinks! Buy food! (do they even sell food!? Yes! After 5pm! Who cares?...just buy it!). Scrub graffiti off their bathroom stalls! SHOW RESPECT TO DOUBLE WINDSOR. DOUBLE WINDSOR IS OUR HERO!
Here's why. Behold this post from Park Slope Parents:
So, it's Sunday, you're hungover, you don't want to move, and you're trying to decide which place in the nabe has the best General Tso's. Or maybe you're wondering if there's a restaurant in existence anywhere that is capable of bringing you a burger and fries that isn't soggy and terrible from the time it's spent hanging out in its styrofoam home.
BAM!: FIPS Food Throwdowns! A monthly series where we order the same exact thing from two different Park Slope restaurants, get it delivered, and evaluate which was better. It's a culinary smackdown...a triumph of the delivery will. I know your lazy asses are so ready for this shit.
So this is how it's going to work. The places will be judged by certain criteria:
Ordering ease: Ever had to spend 15 minutes on the phone just trying to order a fucking chips and guacamole only to find out they have a $30 minimum and don't take American Express? Yeah, thanks, Los Pollitos II. We appreciate it when a place makes it simple.
Delivery time: Anything under 15 minutes is a miracle. Anything over 45 minutes, I'm grabbing my torch and pitchfork.
Price: Because you should never spend $40 on takeout unless it's 4AM, you're drunk, and you decide that you and your two friends need 5 large pizzas.
How'd it hold up?: Soggy fries, leaking miso soups, cold pizza—even though I know my food is being slung over some guy's shoulder and transported on a bike, I'd like it to not look like it was.
Bonus: Extra sauces? Plastic containers that you can use again for lunch? Score.
I know all you foodies out there will inevitably hate the two places I pick. I get it. But I have to pick just two places to face each other in a head-to-head [mortal] combat. Feel free to suggest which places YOU think are the best for each featured food/dish—FIPS Food Throwdowns are just a random slice-of-pizza life sampling.
FIPS Food Throwdowns: The Guacamole Edition
Barrio vs. Rancho Alegre
Just a few short weeks ago, we all joined into the collective, crowdsourced inquiry regarding whether or not there was any "fabulous" left in Park Slope (hint: there was none)...and yeah, we realized that shit had gotten a *little* depressing around good ole' Park Slob (espesh after I lost that ebay auction for that MOTHERFUCKING CHINCHILLA SLEEVED COAT!), but we pressed on and crossed our fingers that "fabulous" might somehow find its way back to us chumps.
Well, good news, bitches!
Fabulous is HEEEEEEERE!