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Friday
Aug202010

VANILLA ICED, ICED COFFEE...

You know how sometimes you're just sitting around, and then you think to yourself: "I wonder how much every single solitary fucking cup of iced coffee in Park Slope costs?" Like EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

Yeah, me too.

Well, wonder no more, cause @bumpershine figured allllll that shit out for all your asses in their Park Slope Iced Coffee Survey. And this shit is like more comprehensive than wikipedia.

Check it.

Friday
Aug202010

WWYD?

So we've got "Who Gives A Shit?" and ABC News has "What Would You Do." Basically, they hire actors, make sure some scary/sad/freaky shit goes down like send a child predator into a playground or have some creepy dude drug a chick's drink, and they keep the cameras rolling as billions of disinterested Americans do absolutely nothing.

Last week, these WWYD peeps showed their ass up to Ozzie's to conduct a "What Would You Do" experiment with a bitchy mom yelling at her nanny and then the bitchy mom's kid, bitchy daughter. The mom was being abusive and acting like a cunt rag, and surprise surprise, the liberal, Food Coop workin, organic food eatin Park Slopers spoke up! Then they switched gears and the little kid started acting like a ho bag to the nanny, and yet again, Park Slope came to the rescue.

So, WHAT WOULD YOU DO???

Thursday
Aug192010

WHASSUP: 80s Dance Party + Speed Dating Returns to the Slope

No one's sent me shit to post for you this week, besides a free '80s dance party in Gowanus on Saturday night, so instead of giving you an events rundown, I will try to enchant the sex lives of our single readers.

Because everyone's obviously on a secret mission to turn you all into BREEDERS, I Heart Nerds speed dating is returning to Union Hall on Sunday, September 5.  Shit fills up pretty quickly, so I figured I'd throw it all over to you early to get your single asses registered for a less lonely Labor Day weekend.

Nerdy guys register here.  Nerdy ladies register here.  Now get talking about your gripes with that old PC-2700 RAM and how excited you are about ununseptium, then go get naked, since that's obviously the most logical segue.

(Shirt via CoverMyTorso)

Thursday
Aug192010

Is Methodist's Labor & Delivery Unit Way More Fucked Up Than Other Hospitals'?

K, so remember when we talked about the fact that all the BK mamas are defecting to go birth their tiny terrors on the the Isle du Manhattan? You told us your Methodist horror stories here.

Not too long after, we got an anonymous email from a reader who calls herself "Rogue Nurse," an R.N. at Methodist in the Labor & Delivery Unit, about the c-section sitch happening there.  The tl;dr version of it is, in this nurse's opinion, that the entire operation is fucked (in Park Slope.  Yep.).  Clickity-click for the full dispatch:

Click to read more ...

Wednesday
Aug182010

I've Seen Fire And I've Seen Rain: Goodbye Smartmom

Double Bitchburger with Cheez (DBBWC) got some VERY sad news yesterday at FIPS HQ...and by sad, I actually mean: SO NOT SAD AT ALL! Smartmom got canned by The Ridonkulous Paper in the borough of Brook! (RPITBOB).

Even Double Bitchburger with Cheez's husband Phish-a-lishy (PAL) was jumping up and down. And their beloved pooch, Hawtest Basset on the Motherfucking Planet (HBOTMP) took a dump on the living room floor...I think that was his way of saying: we are all in this together Double Bitchburger With Cheez and Phish-a-Lishy.

It's not that DBBWC, PAL or even HBOTMP wanted Smartmom to actually get canned (well, except in DBBWC's case mebbe), but it's that this really represents an end of an era for the Neighborhood That Recycles So Fucking Much (TNTRSFM). THE NEIGHBORHOOD THAT RECYCLES SO FUCKING MUCH IS CHANGED NOW AND FOREVER.

Click to read more ...