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Bedbugs in Park Slope, Part VII: Can I Ever Go To A Stoop Sale Again?

Leaving aside the precarious, life threatening nature of transporting shit in the city... can I never buy used furniture again? Can I never pick up a stoop sale skirt with the innocent acquisitiveness of old? Is this the end of curb alerts and movie theaters? Used book stores? Libraries!!!???

Because I won't have it. I won't let the bedbugs beat us.

My dad had three barns and a farmhouse filled with 1000 year old moroccan doors, dozens of magic carpets, and maple dressers bought for a buck. I was borne and bred to buy used and it pains me to think I will be forced to subsist on new, cheap IKEA furniture for the rest of my days. 

But everywhere New Yorkers turn these days, the specter of bedbugs haunts us.

According to stats from 311, bedbug complaints went up almost 50% in Kings county from 2008 to 2009. Violations in the city went up 240% between 2006 and 2009. The city now has a Bedbug Advisory Board.

So what's a girl to do? Is anyplace safe? CT, upstate, Longisland? 



MOVE YR CAR: PPW @ 2nd Street

Head's up: If you've got a car parked on PPW around 2nd Street, move that shit by tomorrow at 7.  And if you're thinking of parking there, don't.  Paul Rudd, Zooey Deschanel and crew are a-comin' on through to make a likely mediocre movie.  Lock up your spouses.


A NEW Hope for Brooklyn

What a difference a day makes. My little ray of Hope got a makeover!

Just a short two months ago, she was still looking like Tracy Flick in Election (which had its own charms for a number of us). But when she ran me aground (not really) at Grand Army Plaza on Wednesday morning, she was a new Hope.


If you'll recall, the barely-legal Hope is mounting a challenge against somebody-old-and-influential-or-other in the old-school world of Brooklyn politics for the curious position of "female district leader." As for what a female district leader does, I still have no idea.

But back to the real heart of the issue: Get a load of Hope's new look! And she told me herself that she owes it all to us.

Some of our "constructive criticism" for the old Hope:

Ageist: She looks about 12 years old! 

Me: God, I want her to unbutton a few buttons on that blue oxford. 

Amber: I want to put lipstick and a little blush on her so badly. Hope, girl, call me.

Jess: She looks like a pedophile's wet dream.

Dave: I'd fuck her.

mpd6: I am a married, straight (usually) "breeder" and I'd fuck her. 

So, what say you 'bout this makeover?


WHO GIVES A SHIT: Park Slope Crushes?

A very, very important topic of conversation for you this Thursday morning: Do you have any weird/irrational neighborhood crushes?

I'll admit I have a shameless schoolgirl thing for one of the guys at my bike shop on 9th Street (deliberately omitting the specifics), and a buddy of mine has the hots for the dark-haired girl who tries to seduce people into Istanbul Park around 7 p.m. nightly.

So, out yourselves: Who does it for you? The chick who gives you your AM pastry at Colson?  Your bodega guy? BREEDERS, you are encouraged to get on this, too (though it's not like you have any shame, anyway).  As always, stealth-anon mode enabled in comments, in case you fear for your identity.


WHASSUP: Pie! Tonight! Pie!

In case you need a reason to drag your ass into a bar tonight, The Gate's giving you a good one: Their first annual Pie Bake-Off is happening tonight at 7 p.m.  It's being judged by locals Four & Twenty Blackbirds, so bust out your best last-minute delicacy, or head over to watch people gorge themselves.

We're told that beer goes with pie, and The Gate is determined to prove it to you.  Let us know if you head over and find out.

And, as long as we're talking about shit going on, here are two more things happening tomorrow night, Thursday, August 5:

*Reading series.  Gelf Magazine's Varsity Letters event happens in DUMBO.  Features authors Beth Raymer, Paul Solotaroff and Joseph E. Wallace. Infoz here.  'Tis free.

*Art opening.  Non-Native New York opens at de Castellane Gallery on Atlantic Avenue, and they'd like you to party with them from 6-9.  Details on the exhibit here (it sounds pretty rad, actually), plus location.

 That's probably your WHASSUP for the week in lieu of your Thursday update, unless something epic is happening that I don't know about.  In which case, email our asses or comment away.