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Monday
May102010

You Will Probably Get Run Over By A NYC Garbage Truck 

Well, well, well: so apparently the city paid 17.6 MILLION dollars last year, cleaning up claims filed against garbage men who were driving recklessly. Basically, we're talking about all sorts of shit: illegal u-turns, knocking off side mirrors, running over babies (ok, well not that one...at least I don't think so).

Anyway.

I can't wait to hear what all you whiny ass bitches have to say about this one:

"OH, BUT ITS SOOOO HARD TO BE A GARBAGE MAN! THEY SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO HAVE ACCIDENTS AND DRIVE OVER PEOPLE'S CARS." Whine, whine, whine, blah, blah, blah.

Just remember: you heard it from me FIRST! Garbage men are lazy AND dangerous.

(via Gothamist)

Monday
May102010

What's Worse: The Pavillion Movie Theater or Nazis?

When New York Magazine declared Park Slope the best place to live in New York, I'm pretty sure it wasn't for our movie theater. Because The Pavilion is the worst piece of shit move theater I've ever been to in my life. 

I know I'm not the first to complain about this crap box. Back in November, there was a big uproar about a phantom bedbug problem over on the brooklynian message boards, which was later determined to be untrue (we covered it here and here). A few summers back, the air conditioning stopped working during a july heat wave (and the summer blockbuster weekend opening of The Dark Knight). And that's just the tip of it. Have you ever met someone in Park Slope who says, "you should totally check out The Pavilion - it's a great theater"?
I highly doubt it.

Click to read more ...

Saturday
May082010

Mother's Day Kinda Sucks If Your Mom Isn't Around Anymore [TMI]

So three years ago, my mom Marcia died of cancer. That's a pic of her above in Jamaica when she was about 25. She was too young (only 55), and I was too young, and, as you can imagine, the whole thing just suuuuuucked.

And so, duh,  Mother's Day is, pretty fucking hard for me now. And if any of you are as unlucky as I am and have also lost your mom, I'm guessing it's pretty fucking hard for you too.

So in the midst of the flowers, and the special Mother's Day brunches and the cards and all of that other crap, I just wanted to send a shoutout to all y'all to say: I FEEL YOU. Like for realz.

My suggestion: do something nice for yourself today and honor your mom in your own cool way. Or if you need to, just stay in bed all day and watch bad reality TV or Lifetime movies with a pint of ice cream...cause sometimes that's just what you might need too. We figure this shit out as we go along (this post from Gloss had some good scoop too).

If you're lucky enough to still have your mom around, go eat some fucking eggs benedict with her and tell her how much she rocks. Cause that shit ain't easy.

Happy Mother's Day and <3 to all.

Friday
May072010

This Weekend: The F Takes Its Hatred for Me Out on You

Curious, you don't look much like a train to me.

Because I've somehow become the default bearer of F train (bad/gross/sexy/mostly gross) news, here's a HAPPY FUCKING FRIDAY announcement for you.

Tonight at 11:30 through the rest of the weekend, we're back to shuttle busses between Jay Street and Church Ave.  Transportation alternatives include Bugaboos, go-karts and dimensional teleportation.  I'll be too busy picking out the perfect shade of lilac for my bathroom walls and working on the teeny-weeny particle accelerator project I have going on in my garden to leave Brooklyn anyway, but I figured the rest of you might want a heads up.

I realize this affects the G train, too.  But since the G train is a mere figment of our collective imaginations, this is all of the acknowledgement it will get (also considering "You're still screwed" is no news, anyway).

Friday
May072010

OPEN POST: IF FORNINO PIZZA IS NOT IN MY MOUTH IMMEDS, I'M GONNA GO C-R-A-Z-Y

photo via Grub StreetYeah, so that's pretty much the only fucking thing on MY mind these days.

Other than my new BLAHG (check-it!), my laser-ized eyes, and the fact that Oliver won't do ANYTHING in the motherfucking park anymore except eat grass! I'm serious...I've got to take some goddamned video of this shit, because its out of control.

Anyway, WTF is up with you bitches??