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Wednesday
Jun022010

The PPW Bike Lane Is Upon Us

Yay? I guess?

(via Brownstoner)

Tuesday
Jun012010

Finally, A Winning Team of Our Own? The Brooklyn Bulldogs

All hail the conquering heroes!

Bring on the ticker tape, Park Slope has a team we can all get behind (well, all you non-Husky, non-Bonnie, non park teamers).

Ladies and Gentleman, Breeders and Ballers, Car(e) Free and Roadified, I give you arguably the best team in Brooklyn b-ball: The 78th Precinct's very own Brooklyn Bulldogs (Orange 11s). Shit, it sounded better when I left out the orange 11 part.

Click to read more ...

Monday
May312010

PARKING SLOPE [Having a Car Fucking Sucks]

That beige car is fucked in Park Slope in 3, 2...

Like many of you, I don't own a car.  In fact, I think the happiest day of my father's life in recent memory was when I moved to Brooklyn and he got to sell my car.  So, while I've heard plenty about the hell on earth that's parking in the Slope, I'd never experienced it firsthand.  Until this week.

I took the last several days to schlep my ass ten blocks north and move (related: my new apartment rules your face), which involved a shit ton of back and forth car rides facilitated by my awesome-as-fuck mother.  Friday morning at about 10:15, we pulled up to my building with car load #59886, looking to find a spot on a Friday 9:30-10:30 alternate side parking-ruled street.

Click to read more ...

Friday
May282010

I DO NOT 'LIKE' YOUR BLOG!

Happy Holiday weekend everyone! This has gotz to be my, hands down, favorite submission I have ever received at FIPS HQ. Behold the best email of all friggin time

 Squarespace Services  to me
show details 2:19 PM (1 minute ago)

This email was transmitted via www.fuckedinparkslope.com.

------------------------------

Your Name: xxxxxx Mxxxxxx
Your Email:
Subject: Remove my name from your site

Message: I have been told that my name is listed as someone who "likes" this website. It must be an error and I would like it removed.

I do not want to be associated with people who think that using language like that on a social chat site is okay - guess you don't know how easy it is for children of all ages to get onto the site and then think that adults think it's okay to use language that is not used at home but can be used for everyone to see.


It's sad that you all think this is permissable but I think you don't have an intelligent vocabulary.


Remove my name please - immediately.


Thank you.

WOW, WOW, WOW, OH WOOOOOOW.

Ok, let's break this shit down:

  • What in the MOTHER FUCK is a "social chat site?" Cause whatever the fuck a social chat site is, FIPS ain't one of em. Nobody "chats" around here...its pretty much all yelling, all the time.
  • I say fuck both at home AND not at home. Do you only say it when you're not at home? So for ex. it's ok to say fuck at the grocery store, but not when you're watching an ep of The Hills?? Cause that shit is BANANAS.
  • Who is "telling you" that your "name is listed as someone who likes" our site? Was it a voice in your head? I'm guessing you're getting an eensy weensy bit confused with THE INTERNET and FACEBOOK. Facebook is a place you go to like or not like all sorts of things, and FIPS is a place you to go to NOT like everything. Get it?
Please come back and read this post and comment, oh crazy wo/man. It would make me oh so happy!
Friday
May282010

THANK GOD: A NEW SUBWAY MAP

The New York Times is reporting that the MTA will unveil a new map next month, the first in over a decade.  On the long list of things the MTA needs to do to prevent the angry citizenry from firebombing it, I doubt a slightly redesigned map makes an appearance.  How about you get a hold of the track fires before you focus your attention on making the maps more vibrant and colorful?

But, oh man, do I love that new cerulean blue water!  It calls to mind the Carribbean more than any dirty waterway around here, which I guess will help to make all of the Jamaican conductors feel more at home (racist?).

Ev'ry ting's irie, mon!