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Wednesday
Sep012010

ATTN ALL MOMS WHO DON’T WANT THEIR KIDS TO BE VICTIMS OF CRAZY EYEBALL EXPERIMENTS


FIPS reader, Princess Pony Party Amazing, called our attention to this exclusive party invite:

Exceptional Eyecare. Incredible Eyewear. AND FREE “BABYSITTING”!!!

That’s right BREEDERS, cancel your nanny, cause the eye doctor has a new hobby (other than his self-proclaimed passion for working with Dry Eye Sufferers)...Taking care of your kiddies! What child doesn’t love going to the doctor? Park Slope Eye is turning their clinic into a mini movie theatre for your obnoxious children, in order to conduct cray cray eye science experiments on them, thank you for your patronage.

And what will you be doing during your off time? GETTING WASTED, LADIES!!!! On a Mini Mommy Vaca!!!
They have even provided you with the name of the closest happy hour, so if the kid by mistake performs Lasic eye surgery on someone, you can come reverse that shit pronto.

Ok, so there might be a chance that Park Slope Eye is secretly planning to dry your little one’s eyes out so that the doctor can get all passionate and whatev about fixing them. BFD. The more important issue is what four-year-old wants to sit all the way through Up? That movie had me crying within the first ten minutes.

Did anyone send their kid to this? Are their eyes all fucked now or did they come back normal? Is Park Slope Eye turning this hang sesh into a weekly event, because sign me up DUH.

Wednesday
Sep012010

You Rock, Neal Block! Whoever you are...

When approached by AM New York for an off-the cuff-reaction to Tiger Woods move to NYC, Park Slope GOD Neal Block, aged 30, had this to say...

"Tiger Woods is free to live wherever Tiger Woods wants to live. It neither pleases nor upsets me in any way," said Neal Block, 30, of Park Slope. "I look forward to running into him at Scores."

And to think, this is the first I've heard about the "legendary gentleman's club" Scores.

Can I nominate Neal Block for Park Sloper of the week? 

Come get your honorary FIPS mug.

Wednesday
Sep012010

Another Little Piece of Gary Shteyngart, Now, Baby

I'm among the throngs who've just cracked open Gary Shteyngart's newest, Super Sad True Love Story.  (On a totally unrelated note, turns out reading In Cold Blood while fighting off an anesthesia hangover is basically the worst idea ever.)

Anyway, in an interview with NY1, clearly the only news channel after my own heart, turns out Mr. Fancy Pants Bestseller himself accidentally gifted his reject pages to my own fine avenue in our beloved little neighborhood: 

Shteyngart says he was so upset with an early version of his first book that he chucked it -- 500 pages in the garbage. One problem though, the bag broke as it was being carried out to the dumpster.

"Seventh Avenue in Park Slope was covered with my manuscript from one end to the other, pages fluttering around. Stupidly I put Gary Shteyngart at the top of every page if some editor should see it. My friends would walk around and say 'Page 230 is looking pretty good here,'" says Shteyngart.

Did I find any of these pages floating around?  No.  If I had, would I have paused for a moment and considered turning them in to my agent?  No comment.

Sure, Gary doesn't live 'round here (Gary, we're on a first name basis, FYI), but I'm thinking that JSF better watch his back.  I have a hunch we're all in the mood for a new literary sweetheart.  Also, use better trash bags, gang.

(Image via Marny Smith)

Tuesday
Aug312010

Even "In Treatment" is Making Fun of Park Slope Breeders

In Treatment was on Garfield shooting yesterday. Woohoo!

Although craft services was parked near CT Muffin on 7th, I didn't have it in me to demand free food for my pashas. And I must admit even I (fine, especially me) was kind of excited to see the still sublime Gabriel Byrne on the corner of Polhemus as I walked by.

Accidentally. Well, the first time anyway. That was when I saw the cigarette hanging out of one of these dimpled little fake babies lips. But I didn't have a camera.

They look surprisingly lifelike, don't you think?

I think we should ALL get strollers and those who don't have/want any can keep one of these fake babies at home for when you need them to pacify your yearning mothers at family barbecues. 

Strollers are like rolling sherpas. You kid-frees don't know what you're missing! I saw a dude pushing his beer home the other day. He had other hanging bags too but the beer got the sweet spot on the seat. 

My friend Diana has it down to a science. Except, I notice, she forgot to lock it down! Beer endangerment.

Tuesday
Aug312010

Playa/Cabana Bar 2.0?

Photo: Rob BlattOur bud Rob Blatt sent us these photos, and unless I'm still hungover from last night: looks like there's some construction activity in the old Cabana Bar space!

Not sure if they're working on both the old Playa AND Cabana Bar space, or just the Cabana Bar space, and it's hard to make out who's coming in (though they do already have a liquor license).

photo: Rob BlattPersonally, I'd also suggest that they immeds call a vodoo doctor, or one of those peeps that Jeff Lewis from Flipping Out hires to "cleanse a space" that he can't sell, cause according to CNN that spot is soooo cursed.

Anyone have deets??