Cause I know just the bitch who can teach all your asses how to blog verrrry HARD: m-e!
That's right, ppl...yours truly is going to be teaching an Intro to Blogging class this Fall at Mediabistro and if you take it, I'm pretty sure it will rule your face.
I will share all my tips-n-tricks and maybe you will discover once and for all whether blogging actually totally fucking sucks or totally fucking rules. Also we can make fun of all the FIPS commenters, and do each others hair, and live tweet everything that happens in class...or something like that.
Anyway, for realz: if you want to learn how the christ to put together one of these blogging thingamajiggies and not have it totally blow, sign up.
As we all learned last Friday, raccoon crime sprees are all too common in our sleepy little nabe. Just when you think you're immune, you too might wake up to find the decapitated head of a raccoon peeking out of your silverware drawer. NO ONE IS SAFE.
However, we can't gloss over the fact that a raccoon *did* lose its life. And now its baby is motherless, and likely facing a lifetime of hardship and "yo momma is SOOO DEAD" jokes.
And I'm just a little confused because I didn't receive any emails over the weekend about any planned memorial services or candlelight vigils?? Anyone? Hello?
The murdered geese get 200 people (including police and local politicians) at a planned memorial, but the lone rebellious raccoon dies alone?
You disappoint me, Park Slope.
Remember when there were rumors about Jen Aniston and Brad Pitt breaking, up and shit started appearing in US Weekly? But still we were all like "naw....it can't be true!?" And then it *was* true and you were all like: I TOLD YOU SO! WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO ME??
Right, so as of Friday night, Bussaco is closed. Which is approx 5 mos after the "Bussaco is closing" rumors began (which is actually pretty impressive).
Not sure what went wrong there, but that place was pretty much always empty. I live approx 1 block away and I had only been there once....considering how fucking lazy I am, that's pretty telling. I hope another fab restaurant gets in there pronto, b/c it really is a great space.
Are you afraid of burglars? Rapists? Roving gang members? Well, save it, cause what allll your asses REALLY should be worrying about is A MOTHERFUCKING RACOON BREAKING INTO YOUR MOTHERFUCKING APARTMENT AND HAVING A BURNING MAN STYLE RAVE IN YOUR MOTHERFUCKING KITCHEN.
I thought this shit was fake too, ppl, it was so hard to believe. But after several emails back-and-forth with FIPS reader Jon and his friend Toby (who lives right smack in downtown Park Slope), I too am a believer.
Here's what went down (according to Toby):
I live on the 3rd and 4th floors of a duplex brownstone. The kitchen is on the 3rd floor and my cousin sleeps on that floor. My daughter and I sleep upstairs. My cousin has a small dog and closes her door at night--her air conditioner was on full blast, so she didn't hear anything. When she woke up and opened the door to the kitchen, she saw our silverware drawers out, silverware all over the floor along with oatmeal and other detritus. She thought we'd had a regular burglary until she spotted the raccoon head sticking out of the back of the silverware drawer.