SUPPORT THESE BUSINESSES!

 

GET F'D ON FACEBOOK

SEARCH
Newsletter Sign-up
GET ON OUR EMAIL LIST IF YOU CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF FIPS
REACH OUR AUDIENCE

GOT A TIP? EMAIL US

Friday
Jul302010

Anarchy on the Q Train Platform

You guys. U GUYZZZZ. Hide your kids and lock up your valuables AGAIN. There's an esoteric crime wave a-washin' over Park Slope. People are losing ebook readers right from their bare hands!

The facts, via eBook Newser (yes, I read this on my own time): "Some jerk snatched an e-book reader from a guy who was waiting on the platform at the Seventh Avenue Q-train station on July 24. The book worm victim told cops that he was reading his Amazon Kindle at around 4 am when another dude walked up to him and said, 'You don't want to see this.' The perp then grabbed the trendy gadget and hopped on a Manhattan-bound train."

Dude really needed to know how The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo ended. But, I guess the lesson learned here is: if you own an iPad, Kindle or Nook, it's obviously best not to leave your home until further notice.

Thursday
Jul292010

FOXY BROWN IS FROM PARK SLOPE??

Yes, apparantly she is according to SOHH.com:

"I was on my way to rehearsal with my band and I was leaving my mom's house in Park Slope, [Brooklyn], where I always go; that's the home that I was born in."

Holy shit! Obvs I'm on top of the John Hodgman, Steve Buscemi, John Turturro scene, but I had no idea that Foxy used to kick it at Connecticut Muffin old skool style!?

Also, FYI, she'd like you all to know that she did NOT, as previously reported, moon her neighbor while screaming at her to kiss her ass and calling her a dirty bitch (and other obscenities). LIKE NOT AT ALL.

It's unclear to me from this story if this neighbor was actually in Park Slope (next to her mom's house) or not, but every girl deserves a dream, so I'm just gonna go with it.

Finally, I think we can all agree that with her love of luxurious fur coats, Foxy is a pretty killer candidate for bringing some fabulous back to Park Slope. I mean, right? Are you hearing this Faux FIPS???

Thursday
Jul292010

WHASSUP: July 29-Aug 4

Nothing too exciting going on in the Slope, so here's what's happening within shooting distance.  Leave your other haps in the comments, per usu.

*Thursday, July 29: Media Circus.  Gothamist's Jake Dobkin and and Grothspur's Mark Potts go over the year in and future of hyperlocal, whatever the fuck that is.  (Actually, we should know exactly what that is.)  Free and in DUMBO, so you don't have to stray from the F, since separation anxiety's a bitch.

*Thursday, July 29: Mad scientist filmmaker.  Short film involving a filmmaking monkey, and a live experiment happenin' at Rooftop Films' screening of Capucine: Filmmaking Monkeys and Other Renegades.  If you can deal with going to Fort Greene.  Info here.

*Saturday, July 31: Sonic Youth.  Free.  Bandshell.  Not Norah Jones.  Sonic Fucking Youth.  Details.  I think that about sums it up.

That's all I got for you.  Hello, Thursday.

Thursday
Jul292010

Park Slope Moms Are Disgusting Slobs

Don't shoot the messenger, ppl. I'm just dropping some truth bombs on your faces straight from my #1 fave Park Slope blog: Fabulous in Park Slope (faux FIPS).

As you'll recall, Courtney from Faux FIPS is on a quest to rediscover where in the HAYLL all the fabulous is hiding out in our fine ass neighborhood. And newsflash: for those of you keeping track, you should note that there ain't no fabulous whatsoever atop the poorly dyed, probably unbrushed heads of all the moms here in Park Slob:

"I have noticed that my neighborhood mamas have not taken responsibility for their stray grays. Having darker hair like I do, it's is more difficult to cover those wiry strands but not impossible! It's a simple wash, you can even do it yourself (although I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to have Eduardo give you a head massage). I think that it's the honorable thing to do."

Uhm, could I have said it any better myself? Not in a million billion years.

Also, let's be honest: it really IS the honorable thing to do ladiez. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!!!!!!!! Cause I for one don't want to spend another red hot minute looking at your granny fly aways as you breeze by me with your Bugaboos on your way to Kidville. Ugh!

Anyway, why would you not color your hair? Coloring your hair *might* even give you crunchy, square-rimmed glasses wearing four-eyed moms some teeny tiny hope of actually getting noticed! But probably not, so don't get your hopes up!

"Mamas, this can turn back years; brighten your skin tone and make those blue eyes seen through the square rimmed glasses!"

Not to worry, though! Cause just in case you do find yourself in this granny haired Park Slob club, Courtney offers up a helpful hint: you can probably pick up some non-toxic, vegan, organic hair dye during your next Coop shift!

I'm sure that the Food Coop must sell some version of a hair color? Maybe 'Go-Go Green Grays'? 'Henna the Heck outta those Grays'?"

I-n-d-e-e-d.

So, THANK YOU, thank you, a thousand times thank you Faux FIPS, for bringing this very important issue to light!

Wednesday
Jul282010

Missed Connections: Anyone Wanna Play Doctor with a Doctor?

 Another day, another sex-starved Sloper takes to Craigslist to try to solicit some alone time with your genitals.  But like our fave PS Dad, this guy isn't looking for one specific lovely lady--hell, as long as you're short, cute, and D&D free, he's ready for you!

anyone wanna play doctor with a doctor? - m4w - 30 (park slope)

I'm an overworked and undersexed doctor. I work long hours and have little time in the end to expend in finding a partner. I have little tolerance for finding dates in bars or on match.com. Maybe you're in a similar situation only not a doctor. Maybe we can do something about it. So let's cut through all the romance and courting and get straight to the action. I can even play the part with my scrubs and stethoscope. Or maybe you're not in a similar situation but always wanted to play with a doctor.

I think I'm pretty average looking. 5'8" and 160lbs. Relatively sane. And d&d free.

Please be d&d free. Extra points if you're short and cute. Looking for someone in and near park slope.

Email me with a pic if interesteed.

Totally ignoring how proud this dude could potentially make my Jewish grandmother (Relatively sane? What more could a gal want?), I figured I'd be the dating fairy godblogger for all six of you single girls who read this thing.  So, who's suddenly feeling like she needs to get that nasty hacking cough checked out?  Make an appointment with yer very own Park Slope McDreamy.