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Another Little Piece of Gary Shteyngart, Now, Baby

I'm among the throngs who've just cracked open Gary Shteyngart's newest, Super Sad True Love Story.  (On a totally unrelated note, turns out reading In Cold Blood while fighting off an anesthesia hangover is basically the worst idea ever.)

Anyway, in an interview with NY1, clearly the only news channel after my own heart, turns out Mr. Fancy Pants Bestseller himself accidentally gifted his reject pages to my own fine avenue in our beloved little neighborhood: 

Shteyngart says he was so upset with an early version of his first book that he chucked it -- 500 pages in the garbage. One problem though, the bag broke as it was being carried out to the dumpster.

"Seventh Avenue in Park Slope was covered with my manuscript from one end to the other, pages fluttering around. Stupidly I put Gary Shteyngart at the top of every page if some editor should see it. My friends would walk around and say 'Page 230 is looking pretty good here,'" says Shteyngart.

Did I find any of these pages floating around?  No.  If I had, would I have paused for a moment and considered turning them in to my agent?  No comment.

Sure, Gary doesn't live 'round here (Gary, we're on a first name basis, FYI), but I'm thinking that JSF better watch his back.  I have a hunch we're all in the mood for a new literary sweetheart.  Also, use better trash bags, gang.

(Image via Marny Smith)


Even "In Treatment" is Making Fun of Park Slope Breeders

In Treatment was on Garfield shooting yesterday. Woohoo!

Although craft services was parked near CT Muffin on 7th, I didn't have it in me to demand free food for my pashas. And I must admit even I (fine, especially me) was kind of excited to see the still sublime Gabriel Byrne on the corner of Polhemus as I walked by.

Accidentally. Well, the first time anyway. That was when I saw the cigarette hanging out of one of these dimpled little fake babies lips. But I didn't have a camera.

They look surprisingly lifelike, don't you think?

I think we should ALL get strollers and those who don't have/want any can keep one of these fake babies at home for when you need them to pacify your yearning mothers at family barbecues. 

Strollers are like rolling sherpas. You kid-frees don't know what you're missing! I saw a dude pushing his beer home the other day. He had other hanging bags too but the beer got the sweet spot on the seat. 

My friend Diana has it down to a science. Except, I notice, she forgot to lock it down! Beer endangerment.


Playa/Cabana Bar 2.0?

Photo: Rob BlattOur bud Rob Blatt sent us these photos, and unless I'm still hungover from last night: looks like there's some construction activity in the old Cabana Bar space!

Not sure if they're working on both the old Playa AND Cabana Bar space, or just the Cabana Bar space, and it's hard to make out who's coming in (though they do already have a liquor license).

photo: Rob BlattPersonally, I'd also suggest that they immeds call a vodoo doctor, or one of those peeps that Jeff Lewis from Flipping Out hires to "cleanse a space" that he can't sell, cause according to CNN that spot is soooo cursed.

Anyone have deets??


[BITCHY MOM DIARIES] Breast Feeding in Public?

Dear Middle Aged MILF sitting next to me at the park:

Look, I breast feed too. I’m all for it. It’s great for the baby, less chance of your kid being fat later in life, WHATEV.  But you and I both know that the reason you have your boob out right now isn’t so
that you can feed your what looks to be three year old. It’s so you can flash that hot dad over there a glimpse of your titties. Yeah, just lap it up. No one can judge you or call you a slut. EXCEPT ME!

I’m all for self righteous public breast feeding if the situation calls for it. A quiet corner of a public park? Fine. In the living room with a few good friends who don’t expect it? Hilarious. In a restaurant? FUCK NO. In front of a FILF daddy group? You’re a whore.

Wait what? Your kid is crying again five minutes later? Are you sure he isn’t just tired? Wants ice cream? Is upset cause that other kid took his water balloon?  NOPE, better whip out your boob again, just to make sure.

Also. While you might claim you are still breast feeding your kid so that he can get all those essential nutrients, I think you just want your boobs to stay that big. And girlfriend, I am right there with you. Breast is motherfucking (literally, duh) best.


STFU Marrieds? The Newlywed Game Is Casting

Are you a disgustingly cutesy, newly married Park Slope/NYC couple desperate for a free trip ANYWHERE but here?

If so, you should totes apply for the new Newlywed game.

Here are the deets:

*You must be married less than two years

*Have great personalities (which true confessions, already eliminates about 50% of our commenters)

*And be able to attend a show taping in NYC.

If you're down with all this bullshit and want to make a fool of yourself on national TV cable TV, send an email with your names, date of wedding, current city and state, and contact email and phone numbers to:

Hurry up, ppl...if you've been married for 2 years already your baby making window of opp is wiiiiide open, so you wanna get in this embarrassing reality TV shit over with before you start a fam and have to show up at fucking PTA meetings-n-crap.