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Monday
Aug092010

FIPS (kind of) Cares: PARROT ON THE LOOSE

Usually, FIPS Cares puts us on orange terror alert for missing dogs, but when I was walking along 12th street yesterday afternoon, I came across this little gem:

That's right—we've got a PARROT on the loose.  His name is Tango, and he says things like "Come on" and "Hello."  So if you're walking down the street and you come across a bird that says hello to you, call 917-364-8768.

Monday
Aug092010

Bedbugs in Park Slope, Part VII: Can I Ever Go To A Stoop Sale Again?

Leaving aside the precarious, life threatening nature of transporting shit in the city... can I never buy used furniture again? Can I never pick up a stoop sale skirt with the innocent acquisitiveness of old? Is this the end of curb alerts and movie theaters? Used book stores? Libraries!!!???

Because I won't have it. I won't let the bedbugs beat us.

My dad had three barns and a farmhouse filled with 1000 year old moroccan doors, dozens of magic carpets, and maple dressers bought for a buck. I was borne and bred to buy used and it pains me to think I will be forced to subsist on new, cheap IKEA furniture for the rest of my days. 

But everywhere New Yorkers turn these days, the specter of bedbugs haunts us.

According to stats from 311, bedbug complaints went up almost 50% in Kings county from 2008 to 2009. Violations in the city went up 240% between 2006 and 2009. The city now has a Bedbug Advisory Board.

So what's a girl to do? Is anyplace safe? CT, upstate, Longisland? 

 

Sunday
Aug082010

MOVE YR CAR: PPW @ 2nd Street

Head's up: If you've got a car parked on PPW around 2nd Street, move that shit by tomorrow at 7.  And if you're thinking of parking there, don't.  Paul Rudd, Zooey Deschanel and crew are a-comin' on through to make a likely mediocre movie.  Lock up your spouses.

Friday
Aug062010

A NEW Hope for Brooklyn

What a difference a day makes. My little ray of Hope got a makeover!

Just a short two months ago, she was still looking like Tracy Flick in Election (which had its own charms for a number of us). But when she ran me aground (not really) at Grand Army Plaza on Wednesday morning, she was a new Hope.

 

If you'll recall, the barely-legal Hope is mounting a challenge against somebody-old-and-influential-or-other in the old-school world of Brooklyn politics for the curious position of "female district leader." As for what a female district leader does, I still have no idea.

But back to the real heart of the issue: Get a load of Hope's new look! And she told me herself that she owes it all to us.

Some of our "constructive criticism" for the old Hope:

Ageist: She looks about 12 years old! 

Me: God, I want her to unbutton a few buttons on that blue oxford. 

Amber: I want to put lipstick and a little blush on her so badly. Hope, girl, call me.

Jess: She looks like a pedophile's wet dream.

Dave: I'd fuck her.

mpd6: I am a married, straight (usually) "breeder" and I'd fuck her. 

So, what say you 'bout this makeover?

Thursday
Aug052010

WHO GIVES A SHIT: Park Slope Crushes?

A very, very important topic of conversation for you this Thursday morning: Do you have any weird/irrational neighborhood crushes?

I'll admit I have a shameless schoolgirl thing for one of the guys at my bike shop on 9th Street (deliberately omitting the specifics), and a buddy of mine has the hots for the dark-haired girl who tries to seduce people into Istanbul Park around 7 p.m. nightly.

So, out yourselves: Who does it for you? The chick who gives you your AM pastry at Colson?  Your bodega guy? BREEDERS, you are encouraged to get on this, too (though it's not like you have any shame, anyway).  As always, stealth-anon mode enabled in comments, in case you fear for your identity.