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Tuesday
Sep072010

STOP HAVING CHILDREN! [KINDERGARTEN CLASSES ARE FULL]

Look ppl, the choice is yours: either stop having bebes or get rich enough to send your kids to private school. Cause there ain't no more room in either P.S. 321 on 7th Ave OR P.S. 39 on Sixth Ave. 

According to the Daily News:

The most popular schools admitted just a fraction of pre-K kids at the same time there were dramatic increases in the number of applicants: PS 321 in Park Slope had space for just 12 of 475 applicants this year; last school year there were 292 applicants for 48 slots. At PS 39 on Sixth Ave., there were 406 applicants for 36 slots this school year; last year 236 kids applied. And P.S. 10 got 499 applications for 36 pre-K spots.

This pre-K shit show is apparently going down because waaay more people are poor now and can't afford private school, so they want their kids to slum it in public school. And since school budgets are being slashed too, the schools can't add enough seats to meet the needs of the community.
Oh wellzers...guess that leaves way more time for all the kiddos to play with rocket balloons in the park!
Tuesday
Sep072010

Praise the Lord! We Found a Parking Spot in Central Slope on Labor Day

photo: APFor the first time in the history of our Labor Day return to Park Slope, we timed it right!

To all you of my fellow quiche-eating, limo-liberal, volvo-driving neighbors coming home from the Hamptons/Cape/Columbia County/Vineyard, the hour is nigh.

6 pm!

No traffic. Not even getting over the GW Bridge. Revelers from the West Indian Day Parade packing up to go home. And it took us once around the block to find a parking spot.

It's a miracle! I've seen the light.

Now, tell me what I missed, how the feathers flew, and your best parking secrets for other high-traffic holidays.

Friday
Sep032010

Happy Hurricaine Earl Day, Y'All!

Yep, today's the day Hurricane Earl is supposed to hit NYC (or Eastern Long Island, rather). But DON'T WORRY! The MTA has a gameplan!

Perhaps you might recall the day in August, 2007 it basically just rained v. fucking hard, and the subway system was pretty much just shut down due to flooding? Yep...good times all around.

So, the crack team of visionaries over at MTA headquarters are busily planning and plotting about how to make sure that shit doesn't happen again. I think the chances of them actually avoiding another day long shit-show (if in fact it does get all hurricaine'd up around here) are about as good as Lindsay Lohan avoiding any future arrests for the rest of her life. But whatevs...snaps for trying.

And sidenote: am I *really* supposed to be afraid of a fucking hurricane named Earl? I'm picturing some dude sitting out in a broken lawn chair in front of his double wide with his 4 front teeth missing. I think the hurricane naming people need to get with the Blackberry naming people and have them help come up with some goddammned ideas that strike fear in the hearts of the general population: Hurricane Brutus! Hurricane Remington! That's the sort of shit that would make me go out and buy 900 bottles of water and 178 batteries.

Anyway.

Hope we don't all die today!

Friday
Sep032010

Oh Hey There, Just Takin' My IGUANA for a Little Ol' Walkeroo

We have our share of, um, personalities in the Slope.  Of course, our weirdos are pretty tame, and all things considered, they don't even flirt with the levels of strange in some of the other city nabes.  But I should be used to seeing some odd shit every now and then, yeah?

Okay, so how about a lady walking a fucking iguana down Eighth Avenue at Windsor Place on a leash?  This was not in the repertoire of "weird shit I expect to see daily in Park Slope" (or, if it is, guess I'm a little rusty on my lizard maintenance, in which case I'm deeply sorry).  So, for the love of research and all of your asses, I asked if I could take a photo.  And did I get a photo?

Yes.  But I was thinking like a "You keep your iguana on the sidewalk while I take out my phone" kinda photo set up, not a "OH HEY HERE'S MY IGUANA WILL YOU GET HIS GOOD SIDE OH THERE HE GOES!"  Anyway, his name is Smooch and he would have liked to have stayed, but he wanted to get home to watch the tennis.

Thursday
Sep022010

Who Gives A Shit: Rogue Balloon Animal Gangs?

Ok, this one is weird. Mostly because I manage to keep a pretty long and detailed list of all the annoying kiddie bullshit that goes on around here, but even I had never heard of this before. An anon FIPS reader wrote in to share her frustration with the rogue balloon gangs invading Prospect Park.

Click to read more ...