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Oh Hey There, Just Takin' My IGUANA for a Little Ol' Walkeroo

We have our share of, um, personalities in the Slope.  Of course, our weirdos are pretty tame, and all things considered, they don't even flirt with the levels of strange in some of the other city nabes.  But I should be used to seeing some odd shit every now and then, yeah?

Okay, so how about a lady walking a fucking iguana down Eighth Avenue at Windsor Place on a leash?  This was not in the repertoire of "weird shit I expect to see daily in Park Slope" (or, if it is, guess I'm a little rusty on my lizard maintenance, in which case I'm deeply sorry).  So, for the love of research and all of your asses, I asked if I could take a photo.  And did I get a photo?

Yes.  But I was thinking like a "You keep your iguana on the sidewalk while I take out my phone" kinda photo set up, not a "OH HEY HERE'S MY IGUANA WILL YOU GET HIS GOOD SIDE OH THERE HE GOES!"  Anyway, his name is Smooch and he would have liked to have stayed, but he wanted to get home to watch the tennis.


Who Gives A Shit: Rogue Balloon Animal Gangs?

Ok, this one is weird. Mostly because I manage to keep a pretty long and detailed list of all the annoying kiddie bullshit that goes on around here, but even I had never heard of this before. An anon FIPS reader wrote in to share her frustration with the rogue balloon gangs invading Prospect Park.

Click to read more ...


MORE New Park Slope Restos

photo: BrownstonerHope you bitches are hongry, cause there are like 10 new Park Slope restaurants sheduled to open every day for the rest of the month. Ok, fine, not 10, but shit be poppin around here:

  • There is a new bagel place opening a block away from the N. Slope La Bagel Delight: Bagel Market. This confuses me, except the owner claims they are going to ALSO have Hale & Hearty soups, a salad bar and sit down eating. Ohhhhkay, then why the fuck do you also need bagels? Why not just go the salad route? WHY WON'T ANYONE OPEN UP A MOTHERFUCKING SALAD PLACE AROUND HERE??? WE NEED A CHOPT OR SOMETHING! (via Brownstoner)
  • Naruto Ramen, a Japanese noodle joint on the UES plans to open up another spot in the old 3R Living space on 5th Ave. (via Zagat)
  • Maria's Mexican Bistro on Union has now magically morphed into Mama Rosa Latin Bistro, thanks to the owners of Los Politos III that are taking this shit over. The food is allegedly gonna be more Colombian/Spanish influenced. (via Zagat)
  • Rob Blatt told me there was a South Brooklyn Pizza opening up next to Cherry Tree on 4th Ave.
  • I haven't seen any pics yet, but a tipster told me that there was a note on Bussaco's door about how they're now getting sued for a million billion dollars.

I'm vaguely intrigued by this Ramen place, but other than that I sort of don't care. Mostly, I guess, because as hard as it allegedly is to run a restaurant and make any fucking money, I'm blown away by the fact that NO ONE seems to ever: take a look at the neighborhood; see what's mising or needed; and then meet that need. It's all just pizza joints, bagel shops and bullshit that we've all seen before (NOTE: for ideas about what bitches around here *actually* would like to see, the readers of FIPS have made a handy dandy list).


WHASSUP: Upcoming Stuff in September, Part Une

I haven't left my fucking apartment in days and have sort of forgotten there's an outside world, but apparently there is, and apparently there's shit happening in it.  So here's a lineup of several things I'm bitter your asses can do:

*Sunday, Sept 5: Walk around Coney.  Guided walking tour of historic Coney Island with a look at landmarks and architecture. 11a.m., rain or shine.  Free with suggested donation. Their site's not updated for this one, but the meeting place deets are the same as these.

*Friday, Sept 10: Music and foosball.  Wylie Toms and Third Wheel Band serenade you at Bar 4 on Seventh Ave.  It's free, and you can get the details here.  In related news, people still use MySpace.

*Sunday, Sept 12: Sunday night funnies.  "Nothing to Declare" at Union Hall with Hannibal Buress, Morgan Murphy, and Mike Lawrence.  Tickets here.  FYI: Eugene Mirman Comedy Fest follows right behind on the 16th-19th.

*Monday, Sept 13: A taste of Brooklyn.  Metromix's Hot Plates Live at the Bell House.  Sample eats from BK vendors, including Slope's own Benchmark and Fornino.  Preview the vendors here, and get reasonably priced tix here.  See you there, even if I have to crawl.

Even though most of this is next week material, I'll still post about WHASSUP, so keep sending along stuff, and add your own jams in the comments, per usual.



FIPS reader, Princess Pony Party Amazing, called our attention to this exclusive party invite:

Exceptional Eyecare. Incredible Eyewear. AND FREE “BABYSITTING”!!!

That’s right BREEDERS, cancel your nanny, cause the eye doctor has a new hobby (other than his self-proclaimed passion for working with Dry Eye Sufferers)...Taking care of your kiddies! What child doesn’t love going to the doctor? Park Slope Eye is turning their clinic into a mini movie theatre for your obnoxious children, in order to conduct cray cray eye science experiments on them, thank you for your patronage.

And what will you be doing during your off time? GETTING WASTED, LADIES!!!! On a Mini Mommy Vaca!!!
They have even provided you with the name of the closest happy hour, so if the kid by mistake performs Lasic eye surgery on someone, you can come reverse that shit pronto.

Ok, so there might be a chance that Park Slope Eye is secretly planning to dry your little one’s eyes out so that the doctor can get all passionate and whatev about fixing them. BFD. The more important issue is what four-year-old wants to sit all the way through Up? That movie had me crying within the first ten minutes.

Did anyone send their kid to this? Are their eyes all fucked now or did they come back normal? Is Park Slope Eye turning this hang sesh into a weekly event, because sign me up DUH.