MORE ACTUAL NEWS: TWITTER BIGGIE GOT BOUNCED

(click to see full size photo)

So, all you bitches KNOW how much my ass loves Twitter, right?

Well my hands down, kick ass, fave-OH-rite fave Twitterer of all time, i.e. the world's greatest rapper @notoriousbig, got his ass clipped today for "impersonation!?"

Check it (received this email from Big Poppa earlier today):
Yo E - wanted to let you know what happened on Twitter. Straight bullshit. Feel free to pass along, blog, etc.

SON. OF. A. BITCH

Needless to say, we will NOT stand for this.

I have set up a new Twitter account, @freebigpoppa, where I hope to organize the masses and recruit an army of Twitter protesters (please follow us there if you Tweet).

In the meantime, if you've got a blog (know someone who blogs or even wanna start a blog), spread the fucking word ppl! If you work in the media, write a story! We gotta come together on this!

"Spread love, its the Brooklyn way" RIGHT!?

FREE BIG POPPA!!

ACTUAL NEWS: BIG FIRE AT Grace Cleaners on 9th street

Breaking character for a minute here, sorry...

There was a huge fire at Grace Cleaners this morning (next door to Dizzy's on 9th)  Looks like it burnt its way up the building. Hope to hell everyone is ok - you could smell the smoke for blocks.

If you've got any more info, let us know.

POLITICALLY CORRECT 'GREEN' DRYCLEANER COMING TO PARK SLOPE

FINALLY!

Now in addition to our politically correct community based Food Coop, our politically correct recycling program, and our politically correct gay children's hat support society, we can f-i-n-a-f-u-c-k-i-n-g-l-y add a politically correct dry cleaner!

Click to read more ...

Why The Fuck Is The Mere Existence of Animal Life In Park Slope "BREAKING NEWS??!!"

(ed note: I couldn't use a pic of an actual possum, b/c after the 2 min google search I conducted, I looked at some real possums and literally almost vomited all over my keyboard).

Why does everyone flip the fuck out in P. Slope when they spot "wild animals"? Why is this news?!? And I'm not talking about the pig-on-a-leash variety or the Lucky-13-Saloon-girls-on-poles-variety. A Daily Slope Message Board poster by the name of ringrunner brings us this “Breaking News!” by way of his equally important blog, “WHAT YOU DO NOT KNOW BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT ME!” Who’s the guilty party this time around? A possum.

Click to read more ...

Union Street Is A Cesspool, And It's Obvs The Food Coop's Fault

(duh, this pic is so NOT Union Street)

Or not.

We really can't be sure.

But Ingrasir is wondering the same exact fucking thing:

Why is Union Street always covered in garbage? Both sides of the street feature strewn about trash every day... Is it the co-op? Spillover from the Tea Lounge? Bussacco? Scottaditto? Who do you complain to in order to get it cleaned?!?!?!?!

There is a long and spirited discussion regarding this ish on Brooklynian, but our FAVE response comes from Carmen:

Everyone who is complaining itt needs to move to bedstuy. Until you have used condoms wrangled up with chicken bones and tumbleweave rolling across your stoop on the reg, no bitching allowed.

On the reg!? Totally fucking brilliant.

Bravo, Carmen (and also pick up your fucking trash, people.  I live on Union Street and Oliver ends up eating all the shit that you mofos strew all over the place. Then I gotta go fishing it outta his mouth, and its pretty damn revolting.  Like CHICKEN BONES! Where the FUCK do all those chicken bones out on the street come from!? Cause we got em here....not just in Bed Stuy).