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Friday
Jun182010

C-Town Cashiers: What's The Deal?

I adore Steve's C-Town.  I really do.  I know I shat on it in this post, but once I realized I was racking up $30 weekly Whole Foods purchases for soy milk, bran flakes, and grapes (corporate America blah blah), I swiftly discovered how great C-Town actually is.  Except one detail.  Their cashiers are the nastiest group of people on the earth.  And these folks agree.

I tried to ignore it.  Tried to kill 'em with kindness.  Tried to put myself in their shoes, and acknowledge how much their jobs suck (I have plenty of respect for grocery store employees; tons of my friends did it growing up, and it was my mom's first job, too).  But nothing's worked.  And last night, after a completely stone-silent transaction wherein the cashier did not acknowledge me for a solid minute while she picked at her nails and gossiped with her friend, I'm over it.

Really, ladies, what's the point?  I'm not exactly looking to be treated like a princess, and I'll cut you slack for having a shitty day now and then; lord knows when I worked retail during college, I'd occasionally take out my narcissistic angst on a poor elementary school teacher just trying to buy an iBook.  Look.  I get it.  But like, Jesus fucking Christ.  EVERY TIME.

Do they just hate me or is this a thing for everyone?

Friday
Jun182010

Who Gives A Shit? Naked Pool Party with Marty Markowitz

The gloves (and suits, ties, and pants) are coming off to make sure we all get a chance to take a whizz in the Double-D Pool this summer.

Fact: only 17% admit to peeing in public pools but 80% suspect their fellow swimmers

Yes, Marty Markowitz is threatening to strip down to a bathing suit to protest the proposed shut-down of the Double-D pool. Come on, Marty, make it a speedo! Better yet, this patriotic man thong. 

You think Yvette Clark and our new political hottie Hope will wear bikinis?

Per Gothamist: "If the city doesn't agree to spend the $200,000 to open the pool—which is in walking distance to the Gowanus and Wyckoff Gardens public housing projects—we suspect Markowitz will surely take this thing to the next level. Please, Bloomberg, give the man whatever he wants."

This may be as close to a Norah Jones pool party as we're gonna get.

WHEN: Sunday, June 20, 2010 at 10:00 AM

WHERE: Thomas Greene Park in front of the Pool (Douglass Street between Nevins Street and 3rd Avenue)

(via Gothamist and Brooklyn Paper)

Friday
Jun182010

[FIPS CARES] Goose On The Loose

Someobody shot a motherfucking goose in Prospect Park with a motherfucking arrow!?

AYFKMWTS???

From the Manhattan Bird Club and FIDO Yesterday:

Today, a goose with an arrow in its neck eluded efforts capture by animal rescue volunteers and Park Rangers by flying off. It is important that the brid receive medical help if it is to survive.

If anyone happens to be in the vicinity of the Lake tomorrow and spots this wounded bird, please call the Park Supervisor's office at: 718-287-9889.

If anyone sees someone walking around Park Slope with a bow and arrow and Goose feathers in their hair, I think I speak for everyone at FIPS when I say: you have our FULL PERMISSION to kick the living shit out of them, wrestle them to the ground, and then take an iPhone photo to send to us [ok fine: I'm not REALLY telling you to go beat ppl up, but also this is seriously fucked up shit].

If I find out who did this I *will* cut a bitch.

p.s. I know this might be an inappropriate time to bring this up, but in Nursery School wed did Chicken Little as a play and I had a co-starring role as Goosey Lucy. So laugh if you must, but this shit now has an EXTRA layer of meaning for me.

(via The L Magazine)

Thursday
Jun172010

Anyone Have $3.4 Mil? Because This PPW Place Is Lookin' Suh-Weet

News from the Curbed wire yesterday: A 2,400 square foot townhouse at 65 PPW (between 2nd and 3rd Streets, if your Google Maps finger is feeling particularly lazy) is on the market for $3.4 million.  "What's the big deal, Meredith?" you ask while twisting your handlebar mustache, "Lotsa fancy-ass places up on the Pee Pee Dubs."  Because the exact same place just sold for a paltry $1.4 eight months ago.

Curbed isn't sure what the cause is for the $2 million Corcoran markup (we're back and forth between "renovations" and "corporate hubris," leaning towards the latter), so I figured I'd ask: Does anyone have the scoop on this place?  Have any of you who live around there (who am I kidding, those people are too fancy to read our FIPS bitching) seen a metric ton of construction going on, or did some intern have a little too much fun at a DUMBO warehouse party the night before he had to put this listing into the computer?

Another peek at the floorplan and curbside photo here.  I wonder: If we all pool our money, anyone into buying this place and making it the official FIPS party house?  We'll be like Misshapes meets The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, except there'll be tons of fucking babies.  I mean tons of 'em.

Wednesday
Jun162010

FIPS Cares: Hope For Brooklyn

Holy Shit, I was just chased down Garfield by Tracy Flick. I signed her petition to get her on the ballot for "female district leader."

I will def be voting for her come November, if only because her bio says "when she was a senior at Hunter College High School, she brought a suit against then Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld for illegal military recruitment tactics."

And there is that awesome photo above. God, I want her to unbutton a few buttons on that blue oxford. 

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