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Tuesday
Aug312010

Even "In Treatment" is Making Fun of Park Slope Breeders

In Treatment was on Garfield shooting yesterday. Woohoo!

Although craft services was parked near CT Muffin on 7th, I didn't have it in me to demand free food for my pashas. And I must admit even I (fine, especially me) was kind of excited to see the still sublime Gabriel Byrne on the corner of Polhemus as I walked by.

Accidentally. Well, the first time anyway. That was when I saw the cigarette hanging out of one of these dimpled little fake babies lips. But I didn't have a camera.

They look surprisingly lifelike, don't you think?

I think we should ALL get strollers and those who don't have/want any can keep one of these fake babies at home for when you need them to pacify your yearning mothers at family barbecues. 

Strollers are like rolling sherpas. You kid-frees don't know what you're missing! I saw a dude pushing his beer home the other day. He had other hanging bags too but the beer got the sweet spot on the seat. 

My friend Diana has it down to a science. Except, I notice, she forgot to lock it down! Beer endangerment.

Tuesday
Aug312010

Playa/Cabana Bar 2.0?

Photo: Rob BlattOur bud Rob Blatt sent us these photos, and unless I'm still hungover from last night: looks like there's some construction activity in the old Cabana Bar space!

Not sure if they're working on both the old Playa AND Cabana Bar space, or just the Cabana Bar space, and it's hard to make out who's coming in (though they do already have a liquor license).

photo: Rob BlattPersonally, I'd also suggest that they immeds call a vodoo doctor, or one of those peeps that Jeff Lewis from Flipping Out hires to "cleanse a space" that he can't sell, cause according to CNN that spot is soooo cursed.

Anyone have deets??

Tuesday
Aug312010

[BITCHY MOM DIARIES] Breast Feeding in Public?

Dear Middle Aged MILF sitting next to me at the park:

Look, I breast feed too. I’m all for it. It’s great for the baby, less chance of your kid being fat later in life, WHATEV.  But you and I both know that the reason you have your boob out right now isn’t so
that you can feed your what looks to be three year old. It’s so you can flash that hot dad over there a glimpse of your titties. Yeah, just lap it up. No one can judge you or call you a slut. EXCEPT ME!

I’m all for self righteous public breast feeding if the situation calls for it. A quiet corner of a public park? Fine. In the living room with a few good friends who don’t expect it? Hilarious. In a restaurant? FUCK NO. In front of a FILF daddy group? You’re a whore.

Wait what? Your kid is crying again five minutes later? Are you sure he isn’t just tired? Wants ice cream? Is upset cause that other kid took his water balloon?  NOPE, better whip out your boob again, just to make sure.

Also. While you might claim you are still breast feeding your kid so that he can get all those essential nutrients, I think you just want your boobs to stay that big. And girlfriend, I am right there with you. Breast is motherfucking (literally, duh) best.

Tuesday
Aug312010

STFU Marrieds? The Newlywed Game Is Casting

Are you a disgustingly cutesy, newly married Park Slope/NYC couple desperate for a free trip ANYWHERE but here?

If so, you should totes apply for the new Newlywed game.

Here are the deets:

*You must be married less than two years

*Have great personalities (which true confessions, already eliminates about 50% of our commenters)

*And be able to attend a show taping in NYC.

If you're down with all this bullshit and want to make a fool of yourself on national TV cable TV, send an email with your names, date of wedding, current city and state, and contact email and phone numbers to: castingnewlyweds@gmail.com

Hurry up, ppl...if you've been married for 2 years already your baby making window of opp is wiiiiide open, so you wanna get in this embarrassing reality TV shit over with before you start a fam and have to show up at fucking PTA meetings-n-crap.

Monday
Aug302010

The Culture of Narcissism

This is just TOO fucking perfect.

And no, this is not a staged photo, ppl. This book was just innocently sitting there on a Park Slope stoop around the corner from my apt. And while narcissism was not, in fact, on Nate Silver's little handy dandy statistical matrix that helped him and NY mag decide that Park Slope was the best nabe in the entire fucking universe, I'm guessing we'd probs be the "best" at that too.

Can someone pls just immeds nominate this for Park Slope photo of the week? Eh fuck it, the century?