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Wednesday
Aug252010

WHO GIVES A SHIT: Do You Give Up Your Subway Seat?


Simple question: Do you give up your seat on the subway to preggos, old people, and folks with various visible ailments, or do you keep your head down and hope that the guy next to you is a better person than you are?

I ask not because I'm curious about the general goodness of your collective hearts, which we've pretty much acknowledged is shoddy at best on good days, but because my sad self is going in for foot surgery on Thursday, I'm scared shitless that I'm going to be spending the next month holding subway poles for dear life.  (Here's where I pretend I am laughing about my "oh wouldn't it be hilarious if I needed foot surgery hahahaha" quip from a few months ago, and the part where I would appreciate you keeping your "You'll never get out of Methodist alive!" remarks to yourselves).

Anyway, consider this a personal request from the short girl with the surgical boot and cane: Give me your seat.  Seriously.  Please.  But if I don't see you on the other side of the twilight anesthesia and painkillers, it's been a riot, folks.

Wednesday
Aug252010

WHY THE FUCK IS THE FIRST WEEK OF PUBLIC SCHOOL ONE DAY LONG??

Dear Joel Klein, 

I don't want to micromanage and I know you're a busy man but I wonder if you might clarify WHY THE FUCK the last day of school was a half day of Monday in July (fine, late late June) and the first week back is a whopping ONE DAY LONG. On a WEDNESDAY!!!!!

Okay, I know we have more jews inside the city limits than in Jerusalem but at most we still account for only 12% of the NYC population. And how many of that number actually celebrate Rosh Hashanah? Are we gonna get a month off for Ramadan too?

Click to read more ...

Tuesday
Aug242010

FIPS CARES: The Do Gooder Awards

So, The Brooklyn Community Foundation wants all you bitches to "do good right here" in the BK. I mean, like I'm sure they want you to do good e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e, but yeah: SPECIFICALLY here in Brooklyn. And they're so into this idea, they're giving out awards for the biggest and the baddest do gooders.

Only hitch is, they have no fucking clue where these do gooders are. Clearly they're not here on FIPS, but maybe you know where some of these bitches are? Cause if so, you should nominate them. They're taking noms from now through September 30, and then the voting kicks off on October 1st.

"We invite the larger Brooklyn community to submit nominations for those who they believe embody the highest value of community service and philanthropy; exceptional individuals who display an outstanding sense of giving back locally--with time, talent and/or charity. Candidates should work in one of the Foundation's five fields of interest: Arts for All, Caring Neighbors, Community Development, Education and Youth Achievement and Green Communities and have demonstrated a commitment to Brooklyn."

5 Do gooder winners will be chosen and each will be given 5k toward their indiv. charity or org. So yeah, if you know any non-assholes who remind you not at all of us, nominate em.

More info here. Or follow the Do Gooders on Twitter here

Monday
Aug232010

Who Gives A Shit: Doggie Daycare?

DOGS, DOGS, DOGZ, DOGZ, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

Yet another thing to add to our growing list of shit Park Slope needs badly: a KILLER doggie daycare.

Now look, before we knew any better, we used to take Oliver to Dog's Den...BAD IDEA JEANS. The dude now has a scar on his nose to remind him of that horrible time, thanks to some bitch assed dog that got into a fight with him one day and tried to chomp his nose off.

Also, everyone who works there (MOSTLY) could care fuck all about dogs. They need a job and that's it (and in case you're wondering, they get paid minimum wage...and I know this because one day when I was waiting for my dog to be brought up, someone thought it was a good idea to conduct an interview in the mothefucking waiting room out front). I actually think I saw a job listing for this place once, and nowhere does it say: MUST LOVE DOGS. They don't really give a crap and it shows.

Paws in Paradise is actually way the fuck nicer...and everyone who works there is very nice. And in fairness, Oliver has been there a few times and seemed to enjoy himself. But for some reason, there seem to mostly be smaller dogs there...and its just not very big...and I just always get the sense that when I drop Oliver off he's like: AYFKMWTS??? WHERE IS THE A-C-T-I-O-N.

I went once to look at that Place on Douglass (I don't even care enough to google the name right now) and it looked disgusting, so I never went back.

Man, we went to this place back when we lived in the city called The Paw Spot, and it was amazeballs. It was clean and beautiful, and everyone who worked there was crazytown about dogs. You got the sense that if they were not working at a daycare, they'd be at a vet's office, or a pet store, or somewhere where they could just be around dogs all day. So yeah...I'm not really so thrilled with the Park Slope doggie daycare sitch.

What about you? Do you doggie daycare it?

Monday
Aug232010

Effed in Evanston: What A Wonderful Life

What a day, what a day.

My late great Aunt Frankie is in the sewing room in her favorite soup tureen.

Yes. IN it.

This has been one weird week.

Click to read more ...