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Monday
Oct112010

BREAKING: HAIL TO THE NO!

ARE YOU ALL STILL ALIVE????

I'M NOT EVEN SURE I AM!

What in the mother fuck was that shit?? I'll tell you what:  A HAIL STORM JUST GOT DROPPED RIGHT ON OUR FUCKING FACES.

Tornadoes, hail, Frogs, boils, raccoons: These are the 12 10 plagues unfolding right in front of our eyes!? Aren't they??

After a beautiful, mild early Fall day in NYC, the world seemingly almost came to an tonight. Like for realz. A small sampling from the Park Slope Twitterati on tonight's totally bizarro Hail storm:

Hope you're all not dead!

EDIT from Meredith, bogarting Erica's post: Here's the WTF scene on my back patio. That used to be my fucking patio umbrella. 

Monday
Oct112010

Paladino Can Go Fuck Himself Right In His Fucking Face

Dudez: if this asshole Paladino gets elected to Governor this *might* actually be enough to get me to consider leaving NYC.

From the NYT:

"The Republican candidate for governor, Carl P. Paladino, told a gathering in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, on Sunday that children should not be “brainwashed” into thinking that homosexuality was acceptable, and criticized his opponent, Attorney General Andrew M. Cuomo, for marching in a gay pride parade earlier this year."

He was talking to a group of Orthodox Jewish leaders, who were apparently eating up everything he had to say. Which makes me feel embarrassed to be a Jew...except that I'm guessing most Jews totally disagree with him. Also, am I REALLY not supposed to make a joke about the fact that this all went down in Billyburg?? Really??

Anyway, in case you're wondering where FIPS stands in the race for Governor, I'm ready to sell all my worldly fucking possessions to ensure that douchebag Paladino doesn't get elected.

CUOMO FOR GOV!

Monday
Oct112010

We Could All Learn A Lesson In Humanity From BMW Guy

Whether you love Park Slope or you hate Park Slope, I think the one thing we can all agree on is that this nabe NEVER fucking disappoints. Case in point: BMW dude.

Yes folks, unless this shit is a prank, there is in fact some asshole living in our fine nabe who, due to the overflowing an uncontrollable kindness of his own heart, would like to offer you the opportunity to showcase *his* shiny new BMW, FOR FREE, in your very own driveway. That's it! He has a hot car, and you have an empty parking spot, so why the hell shouldn't you join forces and let him park his car there!? Again, FOR FREE.

This is the ad from Craigslist:

"I am offering to park my Brand New shiny BMW in your drive way. Cost to you is $0. Not only will it increase your status in the neighborhood, but it will also make your house look GOOD! I'm a pretty generous person, so I want nothing in return for this privilege! Park Slope only!"

Honestly, why stop there!? I'm gonna take this shit one step further and say, if you have a car AND you live in Park Slope, I WILL DRIVE IT FOR YOU (WHENEVER I WANT)...for FREE. And, duh, obvs this will also make you look pretty fucking good, cause then everyone will think that we're friends. I'll even put Oliver's ass in the backseat and twit pic that shit! Then people will like you more in the nabe and when you pass by your neighbors sitting out on the stoop they'll be all "I didn't know you were buds with that FIPS chick!?" And you can be all "Um, hello!? We're like BFF's!"

Why would I do that? BECAUSE I CARE, PPL. I CARE A LOTTTTT.

(via Gothamist)

Monday
Oct112010

COME OUT FOR CUPACKES...OR BEING GAY. YOUR CHOICE!

We got word that the Brooklyn Community Pride Center is holding an event today in honor of National Coming Out Day. As the event involves Robicellis cupcakes AND gay ppl (two of our fave things on the planet), we couldn't resist passing along the scoop. But yo: you don't even have to be gay to participate!:

During “Coming Out for Cupcakes,” individuals pledge to “come out” about an element of their lives they had previously kept hidden-- big or small. Individuals who pledge $5 or more will receive a fabulous cupcake, in addition to 5 percent off any purchases at Re/Dress during the event hours. Participants will write their secrets on rainbow cards, and these cards will be used to create a visual reminder of everything that people must come out about in our society.

October 11 is celebrated internationally as “National Coming Out Day.” The date comes from the anniversary of a March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights, and is celebrated in all 50 states and several additional countries.  The day is recognized to provide awareness of the number of LGBT individuals in the lives of everyone, and to remind LGBTQ individuals that they are not alone in their struggles
.

All this shit will be going down at Re/Dress Brooklyn (109 Boerum Place, in Cobble Hill) from 4pm to 7pm.

Monday
Oct112010

POOPED IN PARK SLOPE: The Tea Lounge

This just in from FIPS reader Anna (eh, actually it's a month or so old, so multiply all your poopy diaper fantasies by about 1000):

The Tea Lounge has a variety of things that have drawn me in as a writer time and time again: its large seating area, mostly decent coffee, distracting art on the walls, chocolate dipped oreos, etc (just to name a few).  However, The Tea Lounge *also* has many, uhm, "features" that have consistently made me leave before I could do anything close to being productive: deranged regulars-namely, i.e. that guy that refuses to wear shoes and tries to bum cigs from me every 20 minutes, spotty internet and rarely working AC.  I love to hate it; it hates to love me.  I go in; I come out, I come back the next day.

Then finally, I found a reason to dump it for good.

Several days in a row in smelled as though a newborn crawled into the AC vent and shat itself to death.  Day after day the smell built up like aged Camembert.  I let it slide for a while until I found out where the smell was coming from.


Apparently the Tea Lounge is totally fine with letting moms change their people puppies on their couches. Waiting for the bathroom the other day, a shit riddled pre-person was screaming its lungs out while his mom was fidgeting around his diaper bag with shit all over her hands.


Food is served here.  Also, there is a changing fucking table in the bathroom.  How many a couch has invisible baby shit smears on it?  I'm not coming back to find out.

Ok, so look: we haven't actually gone into the Tea Lounge to investigate this shit with a black light, so def consider it heresay. Also, even if this IS true, if you have any illusions that the Tea Lounge would be the only spot in town where this happens, you are probs high right now.

In conclusion: eww.