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Wednesday
Jan192011

Bedbug Rumors: Atlantic Center Target (Duh)

I know bedbugs have nothing to do with being clean and shit, but DAYM this one is kinda easy to believe: there are some rumors floating around that the towel dept at the Atlantic Center Mall Target was infested with bb's.

Gothamist attempted to find some proof to back up these allegations, and yeah: they found nada. Still, the thought of this is pretty grody to the max. Even more grody to the max than that store itself, which is kinda saying a lot.

(via Gothamist)

Wednesday
Jan192011

Your New Commute: A Dramatic Account

What a great way to start your brand-new commute, South Slopers: with a great big ice storm (or, “wintry mix” as the news calls it)!  Aren’t you excited? 

If you’re anything like me, all of these terrible subway changes have ruined your life forever because you're dramatic and you have no other real problems in your life, so you have to fixate on things that are just moderately annoying and not terribly bad.  How's THAT for self-awareness?

SO: if you're a jerk like me with white people problems, here is a dramatic account of what your life is going to be like for the forseeable future...

PS: Are subway problems considered white people problems?  Because we ARE talking about public transit, right?

Click to read more ...

Wednesday
Jan192011

Who Gives A Shit: 'Is Your Dog Friendly?'

So, dog owners do this thing when they meet each other on the street: in order to gauge whether one dog will bite the other dog's fucking head off, we'll call out "is your dog friendly?"

Seems kind of innocuous, no?

But this being Park Slope-n-all, there is no such thing.

I'm lucky enough to have a super duper friendly dog. In fact, Oliver is utterly fucking dumbfounded if your dog is walking by and doesn't want to say hello to him. It's like his brain can't compute the information, and he just stares, watches the dog pass, and takes one last long look back as if to say: WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU TO DESERVE THIS SORT OF TREATMENT!?"

So, ok: granted if your dog *is* friendly, there's not much more to say than "yes!" or "very" when another dog owner inquires as to their level of approachability. However, I've begun to notice something lately from the "not friendly" dog owner camp and it usually makes me wanna vom.

Rather than just saying "NO...he's not friendly" and leave it at that, everyone needs to come up with some sort of War and Peace explanation as to why their dog may or may not get all cujo: "well, he's VERY friendly, but only with female dogs...is your dog a male or a female?" or "he's almost always super friendly, but sometimes on long walks or if he's really tired he might be a bit unpredictable" (said as the woman felt confident enough to approach me and my dog with her "unpredictable" pooch." Or this one was my fave from yesterday: "he's friendly, but he doesn't get along with old dogs." UHM, what!? Your dog is an ageist? Or a sexist? Or a racist!?

HONESTLY, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! I JUST WANT A SIMPLE "YES" OR "NO."

I will not judge you or think you less of a person because your dog is not friendly. I will not assume you don't care about society, or animal rights, or locally produced food. I will not assume that you are a bad fur mommy or fur daddy. I will not assume that you (or your dog) are in therapy.  I just wanna know, quickly and without bullshit, whether or not I should be concerned about your dog biting my dog's face. That's IT.

Sheesh.

Tuesday
Jan182011

PARK SLOPE PPL: Federico

Everyone: meet your neighbors. Park Slope Lens aims to photograph and document every last mofo in Park Slope. Or at least the interesting ones...

This is Federico. He's the doorman at the Ansonia Muse Condominiums. His thoughts regarding Park Slope: "It's quiet, man."

After work he likes to join his buddies at Black Sheep Pub and other spots on Bergen St. 

Tuesday
Jan182011

BREAKING X 2: La Taqueria Closed For Good

If you are a restaurant in Park Slope and you are NOT shuttering your doors this week, you deserve a big fat congratulations and the number of my fave weed delivery service. Cause basically everyone and their brother is calling it quits.

So let's add La Taqueria, on 7th Avenue between Berkeley and Lincoln, to the sad, growing, closed restaurants list.

Read all about it on Here's Park Slope.