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Who Gives A Shit: Smelly Neighbors

I arrived home the other day to a team of hulky (couldn't see if they were hunky) firemen heading in to my building because my teenage neighbor thought for sure the joint was burning down. 

Well, we weren't on fire, thankfully. But for several days now, our upper hallways have been filling up with scary-ass acrid smoke that smells like wood burning, which sends residents into a tizzy and then we knock on doors, call our super in a panic, and finally send my handy husband down to check the boiler. It took a few go-rounds to realize that it's somebody up the block.

Now, I can deal with Smoker Bob and I can deal with the occasional spam-scented stinky food smells (marginally) but I really don't know if I can deal with thinking the building is on fire every day so that some neighbor down the block can benignly, unknowingly have a bonfire or barbecue or get all "Vermont comes to Brooklyn. It makes me nervous.

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JDub Festival of Strikes: YOU DESERVE IT

UPDATE: Congrats S. Diddy...YOU WONNNNNNNNNNNNN! Email deets to come shortly!

Yo, so JDub Records, you know that cool ass Jew-y record label slash event production company slash dudes who discovered Matisyahu so they deserve your respect crew are having a fundraising event! And it's at Brooklyn Bowl! On Tuesday, November 30th! Which is the night before the first night of Hannukah! Or Chanukah! Or however the fuck you wanna spell it!


And duh: they've put together a killer line-up.

First of all, Eugene Mirman is hosting and he's way the hell funny. Then Soulico, The Sway Machinery AND DeLeon are performing! And maybe other people too! Who knows! JDub is crazy like that!

And even though tix are $15 each, we've got your hairy, Jewtown backs! Cause we're giving away TWO tickets to the show, AND a The Sway Machinery CD AND a DeLeon CD ANNNNNND a JDub t-shirt!

If you wanna win em, just leave a comment below (with your real email address, duh). You're gonna have to use one Yiddish word in sentence somewhere in your comment, and if I were you, I would get CREATIVE. Don't know any Yiddish words? You're totes in luck! There is this new thing called the googlez that will help your ass!

Hurry up and do this shit,'ll have from now until sometime tomorrow when I call my grandma Charlotte, a fluent Yiddish speaker, who will be helping me choose a winner.

Zol zion mit Mazel!



OPEN POST: The Weekend That Was

Hey party ppl: you know how we do these open post-y thingamijiggys? Well here's another one. Only before you guys go off in the comms, I was gonna open post my damn self, cause I got a lotz on my mind:

+ I AM NOW A FIOS CUSTOMER! AND I LOVE IT SO FUCKING MUCH! Btchz have left comments and twatted me about how the service is only "marginally" better and the customer service is worse, and I'm sorry: I just don't buy it. The installer showed up on time on the day of our appt, did a phenomenal job, and at the last minute when something wasn't working and I needed to leave for an appt, the dude made me take down HIS PERSONAL NUMBER in case something came up and I needed some more help!!?? Then Verizon called the NEXT DAY to see how everything was going!!?? If Verizon never ever ever gives me good customer service again, this whole experience thus far will STILL add up to way more great customer service than I have ever rec'd throughout the entirety of my Time Warner relationship over the past 11 years. Oh, and also I now have approximately 11 billion channels...for less money. BOOYAH.

+ I received the following email on Friday evening:

Your Name: Rosa
Your Email:
Subject: Contact for suggestions and complaints

Message: On behalf of Mama Rosa Latino, I am asking our dear clientele to write to us at:

to make any suggestions or complaints, so we can grow with your constructive feedback.

We like to hear from you soon and hope to see you at our restaurant, where everybody is welcomed and appreciated.

Mama Rosa Owners

Uhm...dear Mama Rosa owners: I wrote out a rather long and detailed account of my first and last dinner at your restaurant. Not quite sure how "constructive" my criticism was, but if you'd genuinely like to "hear" from me, have it. Also, pls say hi to Weird Waiter and Crystal Necklace Dude for me...I really miss those guys.

+ There was a gigantic fucking fire in S. Slope on Friday. Thankfully, none of the families living above the Asssociated Supermarket that caught on fire were there at the time, but 10 of them have been displaced and have no place to live now. So if you're not a total asshole, you should go make a donation to the Red Cross and help em out.

+ I went to Comida, aka Playa 2.0 this weekend with Greg and NineDaves...and it was pretty friggin epic. We didn't have a ton to eat (mostly just a bunch of apps and sides), but still the food was really good and the service was great and also we had this pot de creme chocolate pudding dessert that I am still dreaming about any time I close my eyes. I still think Fonda is better, but also that shit is like 20 blocks away for me. So yeah...Comida! I will be back!

+ I'm on a mission to catalog all of the Basset Hounds in Park Slope. Know any? If so, leave a comment. And if you own a Basset and live in Park Slope (or know someone who does), email me at effedinparkslope at gmail dot com with the name of the Basset and a photo (or a link to one), as well as whether you live in N. or S. Slope.

+ Is the Real Housewvies of Beverly Hills not the best damn thing you've ever seen on TV?? And how good is Vampire Diaries this season!?

OK, your turn. Go crazy! Whassup? Have at it!


BREAKING: Fire On 5th Ave and 17th Street

FIPS reader Corey just emailed us with some crazy ass pics of a fire that's goin down on the corner of 5th Ave and 17th street.

HOLY SHITBALLS! Anyone else have scoop?

UPDATE: Gothamist has scoop (a boiler exploded in the Associated supermarket).

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE: [Fr the Red Cross] "Hi Erica please let your readers know that if they or someone they know has suffered damage due to the fire, the Red Cross may be able to provide assistance and information. Please have them call our 24-hour number at 1-877-REDCROSS (733-2767). For more details on our response to the fire as it happens, please follow us on twitter at Thank you."


Politically-Incorrect PR: Dwarf In Top Hat Drumming Up Biz

Okay, I admit it, I'm too lazy to schlep over to 6th Ave and 7th Street to take a picture of the actual little dude in question but I have it on good authority that there's a dwarf decked out in a top hat and tails handing out menus in front of Kohzee Cafe (get it: cozy aka small).

My dwarfs are showing me the speech feature on a google search by typing in "mommy is a fartacus." We're busy here what with yet another DAY OFF OF SCHOOL!!!! 

But, my usually unflappable tattooed friend Kristin literally ran me down in front of 321 to tell me about this unfolding scandal. I haven't been able to talk her into taking a picture. She says she has some level of compunction, after all.

And we're getting asked about it on facebook.

Can you please go to the corner of 6th Ave/7th Street - Kohzee Cafe hired a midget in a tuxedo to bring in business??? So strange!!

Do they get the PC-ness of this neighborhood over at Kohzee? That maybe this kind of PR campaign might backfire what with the tolerance levels around here being what they are? Although.... now I'm thinking it's so offensive I kind of like it.

What do you think? Report in.