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Wednesday
Feb162011

My Mom Died, And Now I'm More Of An Asshole [TMI]

4 years ago today my mom, Marcia Goldstein died of Multiple Myeloma. On the death of her anniversary, I like to write about the shit I'm going through, in the hopes it might help anyone else who's going through shit too.

You know how I talk about how my dog has made me a way better person? Well this whole mom dying bullshit has had the opposite effect. I'm pretty sure it's made me way more of an asshole than I already was (which is no small feat). Here's are some examples of my ongoing assholedom:

Click to read more ...

Wednesday
Feb162011

BOD 4 GOD

Look sharp: This is the greatest thing Christianity has done since (TO-DO: Think of good thing Christianity has done.)

According to care2.com, the Journey Church (a "modern evangelical" church with a big fat location here Park Slope) is telling its members to lose some weight or go to hell.  

Click to read more ...

Tuesday
Feb152011

We Have A Winner in Our Worst Park Slope Apartment Contest

Fine, he was the only contestant but the first annual FIPS Worst Park Slope Shitbox award goes to...... Colin C, who was apparently so traumatized he moved to Sunset Park.

Click to read more ...

Tuesday
Feb152011

Brooklynites Are Hella Kinky

image via OKCupidAnd the deeper you go into Brooklyn, the kinkier they get.

So says this sex heat map from OKCupid.

"Among Kings County’s happy horndogs, Bushwick shines forth as an examplar of both maximum interest in sex and minimum discernment in message response. Rudder’s explanation for Bushwick’s rise to the top? “Viva la loft parties!”

NICE WORK, BUSHWICK DUDEZ! (IN YO FACE, PARK SLOPE LOOZERS!)

(via NY Mag)

Tuesday
Feb152011

ANOTHER PIZZA PLACE IN PARK SLOPE!?

click to enlargeThere's a new pizza place coming to 1st Stree and 7th Ave!???

SONOFAMOTHERFUCKING BITCH!!!!

I srsly wanna check on pricing to buy one of those billboards on 4th Ave so I can put up the following message to all future potential Park Slope biz owners: IF YOU OPEN UP ANOTHER PIZZA JOINT IN PARK SLOPE, A BABY PANDA WILL DIE. AND EACH MINUTE THE NEW PIZZA SHOP IS OPEN, LOTS OF OTHER EXOTIC & NON-EXOTIC BABY ANIMALS WILL DIE INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: KOALA BEARS, POLAR BEARS, CHIMPANZEES, BUNNY RABBITS, PUPPIES, KITTY CATS. GO. THE. FUCK. AWAY!

Click to read more ...