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I *USED* TO LIKE PARK SLOPE

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Diktionary

*BALLER - n. Kid free-n-lovin it

*BFI - n. Brilliant fucking idea

*BREEDER - n. Baby maker

*BR-ALLER - n. a BREEDER who's proven themselves to be cool enough that, despite their tendencies to procreate, can still maintain the basic principles of a BALLER attitude and lifestyle.

*COOPRETARD - n. Any annoying person who works at the Park Slope Food Coop

*D.I.N.K-n. Dual income, no kids

*FIPS - n. Fucked in Park Slope; the most badass'd blog on the dub dub dub

*SILTH - n. Sloper I'd Like To Hurt

*SAHM (or "SHAM") - n. Stay At Home Mom

 *SCHADENFOER - n. The feeling of envy and/or hate toward literary wunderkind and Park Slope resident, Jonathan Safran Foer

I'm A BR-ALLER

My Bebe Is Cuuute

I'm Oliver...and I'm hawt

Thursday
Feb252010

Boyz to Men: Mating for Minors 

Posted by: AuthorAllison | DateThursday, February 25, 2010 at 12:15AM

I don’t know if the “treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen” approach is genetically encoded into male DNA or what, but watching the mating rituals of 6th graders has truly been a revelation.
 
Since around 3rd grade, the girls have been circling ever closer, ever more fervently. But lately they’ve begun to explode, one by one into a mass of body odor, hormones and passionate need (desperation?).
 
Although 6th graders are all over the growth chart, the girls are often so far ahead of the boys, it’s mind-boggling. Meanwhile, the hottie boys are all easy to spot as they seem to develop, through pure instinct, the powerful pull of indifference and disdain. Or possibly cluelessness...its still unclear.

Click to read more ...

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Thursday
Feb252010

Secret Restaurant Behind Loki Lounge?

Posted by: AuthorErica | DateThursday, February 25, 2010 at 12:15AM

photo: Brownstoner

Ok, this is just weird. Cause yeah: I love Park Slope, but also its not nearly cool enough around here for secret restaurants-n-shit. Though, apparently that hasn't stopped Loki Lounge. According to some folks on Brooklynian, the Loki Lounge has opened a new hush hush place behind their current restaurant. From urbandog25:

"Place is called Benchmark - saw the menu outside - they have no sign just a lectern with the menu on 2nd st - looked kinda like a Smith St restaurant circa '99 - foie gras, free range stuff, etc... not that such a menu is bad (if cooked right), just surprising given the location.

They are either well funded and going for a very soft opening to work out the kinks - or they are idiots and will be out of business in a few months - because the place has no press is impossible to find and is often the beaten path - I really hope Zebra's review is accurate and the owner has the funds to build up a business. "

Well, you gotta give Loki Lounge props for an interesting approach. In a climate where non-secret restaurants are going out of business left and right, maybe the key to success is not telling anyone about your place, and then completely hiding its location? That shit is just crazy enough to potentially work.

[True confessions: I've never even stepped foot in Loki Lounge, mostly because I find the font they chose for their awning so horribbly offensive to my eyes, its never occured to me to go near the place. But most people on Yelp seem to dig it, and that back patio does look pretty fab].

(via Brownstoner)

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Thursday
Feb252010

FIPS CARES: Has Anyone Seen Mowgli??

Posted by: AuthorErica | DateThursday, February 25, 2010 at 12:00AM
LOST CAT – ORANGE TABBY. Lost on Monday, February 22nd, around 11:30 am on 21st st. between 6th and 7th ave. His name is Mowgli but he was not wearing a collar. He has a slightly bald patch on the right side of his abdomen. He is skittish and has a slight tremor, so he is likely hiding. Contact (203) 414-0504 or (412) 913-5275.


This poor kitty mama's boyfriend sent this along in the hopes that one of you bitches has seen his GF's cat?? Anyone?

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Wednesday
Feb242010

Who Gives A Shit: What Color Is Your parachute?

Posted by: AuthorAllison | DateWednesday, February 24, 2010 at 7:28AM

Anecdotally, I can say that I have never known so many unemployed people. Sometimes it feels like I've timed my adulthood to coincide with recessions, but this one is pretty bad.

Every time I run into somebody lateley, they seem to have lost their job. Formerly clean-cut neighbors are suddenly sporting "funemployment goatees." Business chic has been replaced with sweat pants at morning school drop off. Legions of former magazine editors are now writing their novels...or blogging. And there are way more folks in Long Meadow every morning for off leash hours in Prospect Park.

I've lost count of how many middle-classed people I know who are living on the verge, cashing out IRAs, and going without health insurance; white bread people in True Religion jeans buying groceries at the Park Slope  Food Coop with quarter collections or EBT cards (formerly known as food stamps); parents raiding
their kids' piggy banks and wallets (okay, that one's me and the 11-year-old *may* actually have a future as a moneylender; as the friggin interest rates are killing me).

Anyway, this whole thing really feels ever so slightly apocalyptic.

Click to read more ...

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Wednesday
Feb242010

Hot, Hot, Hot! Laundromat Probz

Posted by: AuthorAmanda | DateWednesday, February 24, 2010 at 12:41AM

As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing sadder than seeing an old person doing their laundry in a laundromat.  Folding their doilies, drying their bloomers, whatever—it's sad, mainly because I think if I'm still carrying all of my dirty clothes down the street in a bag over my shoulder when I'm 60 years old, I know that I've done something wrong in my life.     

Outside of the city, any toothless idiot could have an in-home washer and dryer, but here in Brooklyn, in the land of landlords and pre-war brownstones, it's a status symbol.  If I ever have a washer and dryer actually IN the confines of my apartment, game over, I WIN.

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Wednesday
Feb242010

Another Reason to Leave/Love Park Slope [Red Hook]

Posted by: AuthorBarbara | DateWednesday, February 24, 2010 at 12:05AM

...Because going to very nearby Red Hook is like getting out of town for the day.

The Harbor alone is worth the trip—the incredible beauty and peace of just hanging by the Pier, watching the tugs, listening to the clanging of the buoy, Lady Liberty majestically hanging there with you, as you ponder why the hell you don’t live HERE (because there’s  no mass fucking transit) instead of where you DO live. 

Click to read more ...

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Wednesday
Feb242010

Whassup?

Posted by: AuthorErica | DateWednesday, February 24, 2010 at 12:02AM

*Heeb is having a Pour Em Party (get it?? Purim = Pour Em) on Sat 2/27. Shit's going down at 3rd Ward and there are drink specials and complimentary Colt 45. Yes, I'm serious (Heeb).

*You can now eat Van Leeuwen ice cream from a non-truck location in Manhattan. Yay! (Brooklyn Paper).

*Buy some art at the Great Art Pop Up Sale this weekend. Prices start at $50 and their are a crapload of really cool artists who will have their work for sale (Brokelyn).

*Be the next Russian Snooki (Curbed).

*Do NOT go to Starbucks in Forest Hills (Gothamist).

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