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Thursday
Oct202011

Occupy Waldbaum 

At the turn of the century, I shared a tiny office with the world’s most uncomfortable Jew. We worked together as software engineers, building trading systems at a gigantic investment bank that is now extinct. So it goes.

During the long stretches of time we spent locked together in that cubicled, carpeted mine, I occasionally marveled at how neat and perfect my officemate’s appearance was. He was almost a racist caricature of a Jew and looked like he could’ve been created by Nazis in Photoshop. Mel Gibson himself wouldn’t have cast this man for fear of a PR nightmare. His nose alone could have leapt off the pages of Eichmann’s Racial Science charts.

His name was Mark Waldbaum, and he was a small man, hairy, with short stumpy fingers. He was whiny, nasal and obviously gay.

But why was he so uncomfortable?

Click to read more ...

Thursday
Oct202011

Thank you for not choking

IMAGE VIA NINEDAVES

A few friends came in from D.C. to visit this past week, and I took them around on a tour de Park Slope nightlife. Restaurants, bars, a late night pizza place here and there. You know -- typical stuff. Along the way, I tried to point out the things that made Park Slope unique. The tree-lined streets. The friendly people. The dog shit left behind for everyone to step in. All the things that make Park Slope so great. 

But they didn't pick up on any of that. The only thing they kept mentioning were all the damn first aid choking signs hanging inside every business. Apparently they don't have those in D.C.? And apparently, we have a lot. There was one in the Village Market bodega on 7th Ave and 11th Street. One in Union Hall. One in Excelsior. One in Culture. One in Juventino. And the one picture above, which I snapped at Blueprint. I guess I just never noticed them! 

Luckily, someone else was paying attention. Because that poster totally saved someone's life! 

 

Click to read more ...

Wednesday
Oct192011

Segways for Sukkot! Who Knew??!

*Not an actual segway

Wish your mobile sukkah had a smaller carbon footprint? Or maybe you just feel confused about what exactly Sukkot is. I do, and I'm Jewish. Apparently the holiday now comes with... segways? I mean, beyond building a little hut in your yard (technically called a sukkah) made of corn, hay and decorative gourds -- because that's pretty much what my 4 years of hippy dippy Jewish Sunday School taught me the holiday was all about -- I thought that was it. Harvesting and stuff.

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Wednesday
Oct192011

FiPS Bits: Kelvin's Slushies Rocked My World

 

Sure, the slushie would look nice next to that candle / photo via tieandtrade.com

Long gone are my days of Mountain Dew and Blue Flavor Slushies. This past weekend I went to the much loved/hated Food Truck Rally at Grand Army Plaza. It was here that I had a taste of HEAVEN in the form of a Kelvin Slush Slushie. 

Here's how it works: you choose a base slush (spicy ginger, citrus or tea) and add a fruit puree (there were many: white peach, strawberry, mango, raspberry, to name a few). I chose ginger with pink guava puree. It wasn't too sweet, and it didn't change the color of my tongue. You can get a small for $3.50 and a large for $1 more. With the weather getting colder, I'm not sure how long my new Slush crush will be oot and aboot, but you can track the truck HERE

Wednesday
Oct192011

Is Park Slope Educating a Neighborhood of Fatties? 

The Truffle Shuffle

Well Park Slope breeders, the state of New York is whispering under its breath that your kids are lard asses. The cause? Your neighborhood schools. According to a precious little tidbit in the New York Times, WNYC online SchoolBook blog, Park Slope schools are getting a big fat F for not providing the kiddies with the mandated 120 minutes of gym time a week. 

Click to read more ...