When Was The Last Time You Actually Used the Yellow Pages?

THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN IN MY LOBBY...THESE BTCHZ HAVE BEEN SITTING THERE FOR MONTHZ

I can't pinpoint the exact Yellow Pages date for myself, but I'm pretty sure Melrose Place was still on the air...the FIRST one.

ATTN EVERYONE EVERYWHERE ASSOCIATED WITH THE YELLOW PAGES: NO ONE USES THIS SHIT!

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BREEDER v. BALLER: Baby Names

IMAGE VIA DANIELLENICOLESMITH ON FLICKR

Each week Once in a blue moon, we will attempt to bring you the unbiased, unedited points-of-view of a bonafide, ginuwine Park Slope Breeder (mom) and a real deal, smokin, sexin, drinkin Park Slope Baller (child free-n-lovin it) on a variety of topics. Identities will remain anonymous, of course, to protect the soon-to-be lynched. This week: Baby Names!

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Help FIPS Win A Free Breast Milk Baby Doll

How can it be that NOBODY in greater Park Slope is stocking the newly released Breast Milk Baby Doll, the much anticipated US release of the world's FIRST breastfeeding doll? 

I was a little distraught about this "toy" until I found out that you lazy slackers wonderful readers can help FIPS win ourselves a free little sucker Savannah or maybe Jeremiah. So hard to choose from the six ethnically diverse dollies! This sucker is perfect for you BALLERS who claim that you don't ever want to have kids, because with this doll you could experience the suckling and burping, as well as the joys of cuddling a baby close, and all without the sleep deprivation and engorged boobies. 

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End of Days Week: Is This Crappy Weather A Sign From God?

I don't know if you all have heard yet but the world is ending on Saturday. 

My weeklong celebration of life on Earth began at the PS 321 Fundraising Gala, which had a whiff of dying empire to it. The theme: A Passage to India. And, my god, I've never seen those temple chintz curtains and that horrid wallpaper look so good. There were flower petals forming a carpet at the entry and lots of women with little jewels on their foreheads, working it like you never see at pick up. But no Bollywood production numbers (maybe those happened after I left?).

As the rabbi's wife said while making a break for a quiet corner, it's like prom. It WAS; we're always on the cusp here in Park Slope and adult proms are where it's at!

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[REVIEW'D] DUMPLINGS AND THINGS: I SECOND THAT!

So after reading the Brooklynian and Here's Park Slope reviews of newbie cheap eats Dumplings and Things, I decided to venture out into the rainy drizzle-that's-going-to-last-all-fucking-month-I-guess and head over to 5th ave for some dumpling-y goodness. 

The place was fairly quiet, although it was 2:30 on a Monday afternoon and some people have REAL jobs and whatnot. The gentleman behind the counter was really nice and apologized for the missing drink machine that would have granted me the diet coke that I asked for. But it's only day two, so I can't really knock them for that. PLUS, for $2 you can spin your own cotton candy!

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