Christmas Movie Guide
The Christmas lights went up on Seventh Ave. and Fifth Ave. yesterday. Hell, on November 1st Starbucks began using their Christmas cups. Better watch out, better not cry because it's time to get into the holiday spirit. A good way to start is to watch Christmas movies over and over again. Here’s a guide to when all your favorites are airing, except for the ones we couldn’t find, like “Miracle on 34th Street.” It will probably be on AMC or something.
Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer – Rudolph is a movie about a talking reindeer who wants to hook up with this other reindeer and Santa helps him get laid. They made a million crappy spin offs that will air constantly on ABC family. In 2001 a sequel was made using computer animation. That abomination will be on ABC Family, December 19th at 7 PM. The original, 1964, Rudolph movie is only on once. November 26th at 8 PM on CBS. DVR it and to watch at a more appropriate time. Like December. Fucking CBS.
How The Grinch Stole Christmas – The Grinch is a hairy dude who likes having his own space. He's single, lives in what looks like a cave and has a sweet dog. Sounds like somebody did a biopic on your favorite FIPS writer. The 1966 cartoon will be on November 29th at 8 PM on ABC and then again on TBS at 8PM on December 13th. Finally it's on Christmas Eve at 8PM on ABC where it'll be followed by the live action remake. I've never seen the live action one because Jim Carrey's makeup terrifies me. It's going to be on ABC Family at least 14 times over the next 4 weeks. I'm going to have to figure out how to block that channel.