So you're having an affair. That's your business, WTF do I care? Except you seem to think the rest of the Slope really wants to hear about it. I was walking behind you, schlepping my groceries home, when I overheard your philandering hook up call.
"Oh you like to cook?..... Hahahaha...oh yeahhhh?.....I'll BET you do....well, I like talking to you too... No, it doesn't matter when you text me, I have you saved in my phone as "Charisma". Yeah, he knows there's a girl at my work named Charisma..."
I say "overheard," but you were so loud that the cuckolded tool to whom you are bound by holy matrimony probably heard it all the way from his office at 85 Broad Street. Not that I'm shedding any tears for the Mister. If we're to believe Ashley Madison, there's a good chance that he's just as sketchy.