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"My Brooklyn, Then and Now" Sees the Good in Brooklyn

Photo credits: Left, Neal Boenzi/The New York Times; Damon Winter/The New York TimesWendell Jamieson’s essay in last Sunday's NYT’s travel section is the antithesis of Fucked in Park Slope. “Why’s that, because it’s actually well written?” you might ask. Funny, dick. No. Jamieson walks through Brooklyn and sees it with a loving eye, talking about what he thinks are positive changes and pointing out old businesses and cultural centers that still thrive here. And he’s completely earnest. We, on the other hand, tend to come at it like a bunch of immature assholes who can only express ourselves sarcastically. We talk shit about every new idea and whine when we can’t have something we didn’t even care about until we were told we couldn’t have it.

When Jamieson says “Brooklyn has come to represent: stylish yet relaxed, ironically embracing its industrial roots,” he generally means it in a positive way. “Of course, there are more than two Brooklyns, and it’s impossible to visit or name or know all of them... But these worlds feel in sync now. I wonder how long it will last,” the motherfucker writes later in the essay, as he actually enjoys living in the present and seeing the good in things.

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[What You Should Order At...] The Roof

WHAT YOU SHOULD ORDER AT... is a recurring column designed in kind for your opinionated asses and our lazy asses. When the mood strikes, we pick one Park Slope-area eatery and recommend our favorite dish. Are we right? Are we wrong? YOU KNOW YOU WANNA WEIGH IN.

Did y'all folks realize that Whole Foods is God's gift to man? It's true. Just look it up on the internet.

As such, we Brooklynites are blessed. Back in December, we found God & the long, bloody reign of Food Coop terror came to an end. We finally got our Whole Foods. Years before that glorious day, we knew that this first ever Brooklyn Whole Foods, situated yards from a Superfund site, would be the most Brooklyny Whole Foods EVA. When it opened, we saw the tons of local BROOKLYN vendors & products. We flinched at the questionable knife-sharpening station. We applauded the Whole Foods creative team for choosing the name "The Roof" for their rooftop bar. SO BROOKLYN. Then we tried to find the entrance to said rooftop bar. We walked through the whole fucking store before finding the entrance.

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FIPS Broken News: Is There Another Food Coop Boycott on the Way? 


The venerable neighborhood institution that is no stranger to controversy is sharpening it's kitchen sheers for another boycott and this time they may not be alone. You guessed it, the Park Slope Food COOP is getting ready to put the screws to another company whose practices are as foul smelling as rotten organic  A FIPS insider sent us the agenda for July 29th General Meeting. It seemed pretty standard till we came across, ITEM 3, which reads:

Item 3: Discontinue Eden Foods Due to Anti-Contraceptive Policy (30 min.) Discussion:

Part I: Because Eden Foods has elected to not cover their female employees for contraceptive health care, resolved to not carry their products until Eden Foods changes their policy.
Part II: Resolved to form a committee to contact other retailers to form a coalition to address and publicize this issue.—submitted by Melvin Hess
Many Bothans died to bring us that information. But fear not Melvin, we're already helping you with Item 3, Part II.
Here's the skinny: The founder of Eden Foods, Michael Potter, says he doesn't want to pay for certain types of contraception for his female employees required by the Affordable Care Act. According to Forbes, the big ole Catholic Potter called the act, "unconstitutional government overreach" and that he “believes that any action which either before, at the moment of, or after sexual intercourse, is specifically intended to prevent procreation, whether as an end or means — including abortifacients and contraception — is wrong.”

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Want to Write for FIPS?

FIPS is looking for some new writers to join our whack pack. As our Dear Leader Erica so eloquently states:

If you feel like joining our crazy FIPS whack pack crew, and your writing doesn't suck ass, we'd probably love to have you. Here's the deal: I'd love to hear all about how you're a hardcore FIPS reader, have the perfect voice, were born to make fun of Park Slope, blah, blah, blah. But mostly I just want to see if you can hack it. So if you REALLY want to write for us, send us a post. Any post, I don't really give a crap. If you read the blog and know what we do, I'd love to see something that you think would be a good fit. Just cut and paste that shit into the little box below, tell me about yourself briefly and hit "submit." If its funny, I'll get back to you (i.e. I'm very fucking lazy, and need as much help as I can get).

So go here and get in touch with us.


Chillax: Lice Lady Not Moving into Percy's After All

Holy smokes. People FUH-REAKED out and got all NIMBY about the possibility of a LiceBusters location moving in to the space formerly occupied by Percy's Pizza. 

First of all, a resident of First Street made the above flyer to protest having this type of business right down the street from where he/she lives, and two doors down from an eating establishment (Bare Burger). Then the owner of the building commented on our post to deny the "allegations:"

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