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My Bebe Is Cuuute

I'm A BR-ALLER

Diktionary

*BALLER - n. Kid free-n-lovin it

*BFI - n. Brilliant fucking idea

*BREEDER - n. Baby maker

*BR-ALLER - n. a BREEDER who's proven themselves to be cool enough that, despite their tendencies to procreate, can still maintain the basic principles of a BALLER attitude and lifestyle.

*COOPRETARD - n. Any annoying person who works at the Park Slope Food Coop

*D.I.N.K-n. Dual income, no kids

*FIPS - n. Fucked in Park Slope; the most badass'd blog on the dub dub dub

*SILTH - n. Sloper I'd Like To Hurt

*SAHM (or "SHAM") - n. Stay At Home Mom

 *SCHADENFOER - n. The feeling of envy and/or hate toward literary wunderkind and Park Slope resident, Jonathan Safran Foer

Tuesday
Feb072012

Park Slope (Predictably) Does Not Like New Cash for Gold Joint 

Last week when a We Buy Gold store opened on 9th street between C Town and the Dram Shop,  Kerri asked if Slopers felt the hood needed a cash for gold shop. Although there was no blood on the blog screen, people weren't thrilled about it.

According to the Brooklyn Paper, Park Slope residents are really up in arms. Josh Levy, a member of the Park Slope Civic Council (not speaking for the group) said, "It reeks of desperate people. I'm outraged." Or as the Brooklyn Paper puts it, neighbors have been speculating whether the new store "is a soon-to-be hub for slingers of stolen jewelry." 

Click to read more ...

Tuesday
Feb072012

FIPS Daily Almanac: Monday, February 7, 2012

 

photo by Kerri Doherty

Rise and shine FIPS'ters! Welcome to your day! It wasn't as cool as a nip sllp, but M.I.A. flipped us all the bird during the Super Bowl and now it looks like NBC might have to pay for it! Also in the news, Karl Lagerfeld guest edited the Metro newspaper in an attempt to make it more fabulous. Up next: Your Park Slope weather, "On This Day in BK History" and "On This Day in Fips'tory:"

PARK SLOPE WEATHER (VIA WUNDERGROUND):

 

O% Chance of Precipitation 

Temp: 49 / 31 oF

Sunrise: 7:00 AM 

Sunset: 5:20 PM

 

 

Click to read more ...

Tuesday
Feb072012

Your FiPS Guide to Valentine's Day: For Singles

via cheezburger.com

Well, here it is, Park Slope: the day on which Hallmark, restaurant chalkboards, and all your attached friends conspire to kick you right in the genitals (Metaphorically. Usually.). Well, conspire with me to hate Valentine's Day right back in its fat, little Cupid face. And there are plenty of ways for the partner-less to occupy themselves in Park Slope this V-Day season. What to do when you're unattached? Read on:

Click to read more ...

Tuesday
Feb072012

OK, what A-hole stole the tree sweaters?

 

Since 2008, artist Laurie Russell has knit sweaters for trees in Park Slope (we previously wrote about them here and here). It all started when she screwed up a sweater originally intended for a person. Upon realizing that a subculture of crazy knitters exists, she decided to wrap the sweaters around trees rather than discard them. "It makes the dullest, coldest months seem warmer," she recently told The Brooklyn Daily.

Is her hobby a bit bizarre? Maybe. Do we here at FiPS love this craziness? Absolutely. But guess what? Yesterday some asshole stole the tree sweaters. We received this email from a friend of Laurie's:

Click to read more ...

Monday
Feb062012

No One Wants to Hear "SHIT PARK SLOPE PARENTS SAY"

The NY Daily News recently reported that a Park Slope mommy is collecting material to make her very own "Shit Park Slope Parents Say" video.

Please take a moment and let this fully sink in (but resist the urge to set your computer on fire. After all...it belongs to the company).

As if we need ANOTHER "Shit _____ Says" video. I actually can't fathom something less funny than Park Slope parents reciting their inane babbling in a quickly-clipped internet video that will for sure not have Juliette Lewis in it (if Buscemi is included, however, I will reconsider this entire post).

Click to read more ...

Monday
Feb062012

MetroMix Names Zito's "Best Sandwich Shop" In NYC

 

Photo via the L Magazine

I can't say I blame 'em. The eggplant parm ($8) is one of the best I've ever had. 

If you haven't yet been, Zito's is located at 300 7th Avenue (718 499 2800). They're open daily from 11AM-10PM.

[Via New York Metromix]

Monday
Feb062012

A FiPS Guide To Getting Gay Married In Brooklyn 


If you're gay, you probably haven't spent your whole life planning a dream wedding. Until New York passed the marriage equality bill, many of us never really thought that we'd ever have a real wedding. Before gays and lesbians were granted marriage rights,  my "partner" and I figured we'd just go to Connecticut, find a judge and get hitched quickly and painlessly. But even though it'd have been legal, it didn't feel to us that that was going to be the real deal.  We told our friends and family, "Oh, yeah. Not a big deal. We'll go out to a nice meal next time we see you."

Then the law changed, and that date that we'd set for our wedding became a sort of deadline. Suddenly this marriage was going to be a real thing, you know? The pressure was on! We could no longer go out of state. We had to actually invite people. We had to spend money, throw a fun party, and still figure out how to pay for a needed renovation to our bathroom. We had to find venues and vendors who were available on that kind of short notice. And most importantly, we had to figure out what exactly we wanted this wedding to be.

Assuming  that other gays in Brooklyn are planning weddings and are struggling to figure out exactly how to throw a big party for friends and family without breaking the bank, I'm here to help.

Click to read more ...