Ok, great. Now that we've got that out of the way, it's time for a fairytale.
Once upon a time, in the faraway land of Breukelen, there lived a late-thirty-something male named Goldilocks. One weekend night, he found himself out wandering the streets of the posh Breukelen neighborhood of Parke Sloppe, imbibing & imbibing & imbibing.
Come the morn, aforementioned late-thirty-something male awoke to find himself famished, his mouth as dry as a wench's vagina and his head heavier than that same wench.
He left his home in search of sustenance and against all his instincts, made his way to Brooklyn Porridge, a month-old pop-up café in the space that's typically occupied in the non-winter months by Uncle Louie G's. Hyper-focus: Porridge. Slogan: "Comfort food redefined."