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Tuesday
Aug262014

Boundless Brooklyn Cashes in on Kentile Signs Nostalgia

The Kentile Floors Sign's proverbial bed is still warm and the nostalgia mafia has already found a way to cash in. Boundless Brooklyn, a model shop and "certified Brookln Made brand," designed, built, packaged and has begun selling a minature model kit of the recently dismantled sign.

The nostalgia-bait model stands tall at 8 inches, or 1/132 scale for those of us who spend the time and energy to find the original sign's height and do the math (look at you, Brooklyn Paper), and is made of 100% recycleable material so you can feel progressive while bathing in nostalgia. “It was important to us that if the sign wasn’t around to see, we at least could honor that it was important for a lot of other people,” said David Shulman co-head of Boundless Brooklyn. Despite being from Florida, it appears Shulman really understands our borough; is there anything more Brooklyn that immortalizing the sign of an asbestos flooring factory using environmentally friendly materials? You can finally have your cake and eat it too thanks to Kentile Floors and Boundless Brooklyn.

Unsurprisingly, the Kentile Floors model is selling out. Brooklyn nostalgia is hot stuff! Brooklynites old and new, here and abroad, just can't get enough of it. “This is a small way of saying [the Kentile Floor sign] is still there,” Shulman said, presumably pointing at his heart. As long as it comes without the asbestos.

Friday
Aug222014

SirPatStew Does The Ice Bucket Challenge

Are you sick of the Ice Bucket Challenge? Or are you now part of the backlash to the backlash of the crazy viral movement to raise money (it's already raised $42 million!!) and awareness for ALS? Wherever you fall on the backlash spectrum, check out our favorite neighborhood celeb, Sir Patrick Stewart, completing the challenge in his own, special, super-classy way:

Rock on, Sir Patrick!

Friday
Aug222014

Pizza? There's An [Park Slope] App For That

Image via dadventures.comPark Slope: Where all the women are [fill in the blank*], the men are [fill in the blank*] and the children are above average but are also such lazy spoiled shits that they use their above-average intelligence to more effectively and efficiently be lazy spoiled shits. 

Five entitled Park Slope teenage boys (two of whom have already dropped out of college) came up with an app that provides one-tap pizza delivery service, because, ya know, I mean, calling or going on the internets or whatever, to get pizza brought to your doorstep?  That is bullshit!

Apparently I too am a lazy spoiled shit because I am totally getting this app. A lot of pizza is ordered in our house, and I can’t explain why, but I fucking hate that task, from start to finish. So much discussion, so much to decide: 

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Friday
Aug222014

Park Slope Craigslist Blotter

FOR SALE: 1995 Honda Accord

Cheapest Car for sale (with pictures) in Park Slope. $1300 feels like a lot of money for 20 year old piece of shit with 211,000 miles on the tires. I tried looking up the blue book value of it but instead of getting a number back it was just that tongue out emoticon.

 

FOR RENT: 2 Bedroom Apartment

I can’t believe I’m writing about houses right now. This place looks sweet. It’s currently the most expensive 2 bedroom apartment in Park Slope. $3700. A $700 one time building management fee is required. Is that normal? I’ve only lived in apartment shares with insane people off of Craigslist.

 

FREE: VCR

VCRs haven’t been the technology of choice in at least 10 years. Maybe longer. I mean people were still jerking off to Baywatch. Can you imagine masturbating to a cable show where nobody gets naked? It’s barbaric. VCRs were impossible to program and frequently broken/breaking but there was something cool about handling a VHS tape. It had weight to it.

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Thursday
Aug212014

WHASSUP: TAIL END EDITION

Well, folks, it’s getting to the tail end of a glorious summer, packed with great events and gorgeous weather. I implore you not to waste these waning days of outdoor barbecues, beers on the roof, concerts in the park, and weekend adventures because winter is just aching to swing in and kick NYC right in the dick.

This week has it all: music, food, comedy, and even some learning. You can’t go wrong with anything on this list so pick and choose wisely in your search for entertainment. It’s gonna be a good one.

So, WHASSUP, you ask for the umtienth time? Here’s WHASSUP:

Thursday, 8/21, Storewide Tasting Night, Whole Foods BK: Come hungry! Last week, on a food run for meatless balls and store brand coconut popsicles, I had the pleasure of stumbling upon the weekly Thursday tasting night. It was a food bonanza. I threw my list out the window and treated Whole Foods like an all you can eat buffet. FREE, 5pm-6pm

Friday, 8/22, Forty-Six Candles: An Evening in Which John Hughes Characters Grow the Fuck Up, Union Hall: John Hughes was responsible for some pretty prolific characters in movie history. This parody gives you a look at your favorite characters all growed-up. Think the Breakfast Club, just overweight and menopausal. $8, 7:30pm doors, 8pm show

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